Nothing like him

Part 23

The next morning I woke up from Dean's kisses. His lips trailed along the side of my cheek and down to my neck. I smiled because of the warm feeling he was giving me. I rubbed my eyes and then turned around to look at him, his arms still on my waist.
      "I was going to let you sleep but it's getting a little later than morning. I know how you don't like sleeping past 10:00am" he says, planting a kiss on my lips. I loved how we already knew each other. What we liked, disliked, our passions and dreams. We never had to do the whole "getting to know each other" this time around.
"Well thank you Mr. Jackson '' I smiled into his eyes. His smiles started to fade.
"I need to tell you what happened last night. You deserve an explanation". My smile fell. I looked down at my hands, intertwined with his. Our fingers moved in a comforting motion for one another.
"You're sick" I said before I looked up at him. "And you never told me? You acted like everything was fine when nothing was." I got a little wave of anger flushing through me. Why didn't he tell me? Was he trying to hide it? I sat up and looked at him. "Dean. You're my boyfriend. You can't leave me out of the loop of big deals like this" he nodded as I spoke. "Seeing you like that yesterday, not knowing what was going on with you broke me. I was scared Dean." My eyes started to water and I could tell he felt bad for not telling. "What's going on Dean?" I finished.
"Can we go to the bench and talk about this?" He said. I nodded and we got dressed and went to the park. Through the trails and to the pond, where our bench was.

***
Dean dried the bench off using the sleeve of his sweater. We both sat down on the bench. Me taking the right side and Dean taking the left. There were no ducks in the pond today. We sat in silence for a minute before we remembered why we were here. I turned my body towards Dean. Giving him my full attention.
"I'm all ears." I said. He looked at me and then turned around leaning his back on the bench armrest.
      "A couple weeks ago I got tests done. Blood tests and a CT scan and other stuff. The results came back to my doctor and he called me in." He looked down and fiddled with his fingers.
"And?"My tone was concerned, worried and engaged. I needed to know. It was no longer a want, it was a need.
When he looked up his eyes were watering. "Mariana, I was diagnosed with stage 2 lung cancer. I'm still in the early stages of it but they said I'm on the verge of moving up to stage 3. And there is no cure for stage 3 lung cancer." His voice seemed almost too calm for the news he was telling me. He looked at me waiting for a reaction but my jaw dropped open and I couldn't move. "Mia? Can you say something please?" I saw a tear fall from his cheek and land on his leg.    
He took my hands in his but I could no longer see anything. My eyes were blurred from the tears, my headache with a pain that was almost worse than a hangover. My boyfriend has lung cancer. The only person I love and care for other than myself is sick with stage 2 cancer.
My heart fell to my stomach and I felt like I was going to throw up. I began to sob at the final realization of this information. Dean moved closer to me and held me in his arms. I could feel his body shaking from his sobs. We sat on the bench, both crying. Not knowing what to say next.
After what felt like an hour -but was actually 20 minutes- I finally calmed down enough to speak.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" I managed to say. Dean was quiet for a moment.
"I didn't want you to panic. The doctors said it would be under control and I'd be cured in no time. But last night it started to get worse. And you were there and...." he stopped and continued to sob. I felt his tears on my head, soaking my hair.
Dean's lungs aren't the greatest but he was still healthy. He started smoking only last year, and never really smoked like a usual smoker. He only smokes when he is drinking or in good conversation-not the type of guy to need smoke breaks or anything. He never vaped or smoked weed in highschool and only smoked weed with his once in a blue mood. I don't understand how this could have happened to him.
"How did you get it? You don't even smoke that much" I wiped some tears and looked up at him.
"It could be from whatever I haved smoked or genetics, doctors say that I am usually a typically healthy cut so there is a chance that genetics had some stuff to do with it, but me smoking would be the cherry on top"
"How long would you have gone without telling me?" I looked him in the eyes, wiping his tears from his face. Our body's still touching.
"They told me that I'd be cured, so I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you at all," he said. He felt bad, I knew it. I could hear it in the tone of his voice.
"Why Dean? Why do you want to hide it from me? I'm your girlfriend. This is too bu=ig of a deal to hide from me" My voice had a touch of anger.
"I didn't want your pity. I don't want to be a cancer patient now that you know. I am still the tough guy I've always been, just plus the cancer. Seeing the way the nurses treat me, my parents, my sister. It's too delicate. I hate it. I just wanted to be treated normally by someone. I'm sorry, but just because I am sick doesn't mean I'm some delicate little porcelain doll Mia." he looked down and fiddled with my fingers.
Dean's reasons were understandable. He hated pity. Hated spilling his guts. He hated being the centre of attention. I respected that because that's how he's always been.
"Dean, I don't have to treat you differently, but you do have cancer and you will be weak sometimes. Don't push yourself too hard just to pretend you're fine." I wanted him to know how I felt, how scared I was about this. He looked at me.
"Why are you so good to me?" He asked with a slight smile.
"Well if you didn't notice. I love you Dean, and I plan to grow old with you."
"I love you too" his smile grew bigger as he planted a kiss on my cheek.
"Will we still have sex when we are old?" He whispered softly in my ear.
"Oh we will have lots of sex when we are old" I whispered back in his ear. He giggled then leaned back. I leaned forward and pressed my body against his, planting a kiss on his lips then smiling at him. "You are stuck with me Dean Jackson. I hope you're ready for that"
"I am so excited to be stuck with you Mariana sinclair." he said then kissed me. "Are you ready to be stuck with me?" I leaned into his chest letting him wrap his arms around me.
"I am so ready to be stuck with you"