she quickly called reem, trying to control her sobs, she had to tell her everything.
"WHAT THE FUCK AVNEET?" reem yelled at her when avneet told her everything.
"what?" avneet sobbed.
" I TOLD YOU TO CONFESS, NOT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT" reem yelled again.
"but-" avneet couldn't say anything.
"what happened?" she heard jai from the distant. she continued crying as reem explained everything to jai.
"avneet.." jai tried to console her "listen to me, okay? siddharth is very conservative, he is very scared about his feelings, he just cant confess them. i am with him since i was a kid, since his dad died, he cant really speak out his feelings to anyone, even he cant say i love you to his own mom" jai sighed.
"i fucked up didn't i" avneet managed to talk between her sobs.
"no you didnt, its okay, tell him" reem too tried to calm her down.
"fine" avneet mumbles "thankyou"
"bye" reem said as she cut the call.
•
"okay so avneet, now practice" she mumbles as she changes her clothes.
"siddharth, im sorry but like i just did that so you could confess, and i love you" she said looking in the mirror "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww cheeeee avneet wtf is wrong with you"
"okay again"
"im really sorry siddharth, im so sorry for whatever happened with us tonight, i was just being a bitc- no no no ugh this aint working" she ruffles her own hair
"okay" she takes a huge breathe
"i know, we both hurt each other tonight, im sorry for everything and i love you, like a lot, i just love you so much i cant really explain it. i just wanna be with you for the whole of my life, i love you siddharth" she smiles
"that was okay for me" she blushes to herself.
"okay now wait till he comes back" she says as she drifts off to a nap.
•
the rattling of the keys on the front door made avneet jerk up.
"fuck" she mumbles. 'its now or never avneet'
"okay, now do i run to him- yes go bitch run" she runs to the front door. 'its okay calm down, just i love you siddarth nothing else, you practiced '
then she hears something, which she had never expected at all.
she heard a female giggle, the stumbling of two feet. she froze next to the door, with her hands on the cold knob. she heard him kissing her, siddharth was fucking kissing some other girl.
she couldn't move, she couldn't scream, she couldn't cry, she froze.
she closes her eyes, her grip on the knob tightness, the pain rushing in her was too much. she couldn't handle this. she had never been more broken before, and it was all her mistake.
she could bitterly feel her heart break, she ran backwards to her room, trying to control her sobs.
she heard them break in the house, the filthy moans of his which once used to be because of her, now is due to someone. she felt someone tearing her apart, she was numb with the pain, she buried her face in the pillow to muffle her sobs.
'does he even know im here? does give a fucking damn about me? 'she questioned herself as she regretted every decision of hers. how could she even think of going with some other man?
while siddharth drank until he no longer remembered that he was having sex with a random bitch from the bar.
and then the creaking of bed starts, avneet wanted to scream, but she couldn't. why has he left the door open, she hated those filthy sounds coming from his room. she couldn't endure this much pain going trough her at that moment, she wanted to go rip of that girl from him, but she cant. she cant let him know she's still there, even if he knows that she cant let him see, how much broken she is all because of him.
' is he even the same person who rubbed my stomach during my periods? is he the same person who took care of me while i was sick? how can he be the same person who taught me to love again ' the pain in her grew at every single moan leaving his room.
and yet, she cant find any reason to hate him. it was all her mistake, she broke him, he's drunk because of her. she cried till she had no tears left.
she the fool here, she's the one to blame.
"he loved me, but my dumbass wanted words over actions" she chocked.
with every creek, moan , grunts and filthy talking of the room came out from his room made her sick. she hadn't cried like this since forever.
she lost him, her best-friend, her to-be boyfriend, her heavenly soulmate
she wanted to sleep crying, but sleep was million meters away from her, somewhere distant, where she could never find it.
she couldn't sleep.
especially not when, she was used to his front pressed hard against her back, she missed his cuddles; those forehead kisses he used to give her when he thought she was asleep, note 'thought' she loved them, she acted that she's asleep just so that she could get them from him.
her pillow still smelled like him, she smiled through her tears. he used to sneak in her room every night once everyone slept, of course the didn't want anyone to tease them.
she regretted every single thing she did today evening.
but now she was sure of that, she could never forgive him for what he had done.
•
"you were at home yesterday?" siddharth asks avneet with a shame in his voice, who was eating her breakfast and trying not to cry.
"yes" she mumbles, as she watches him get a lemonade. she gets up from there and runs to her room breaking down.
her mouth was dried up cuz of all the crying, it took her so much to go down and eat cornflakes, but now she didn't have the strength to do anything.
•
as she finished her collage today, she ran to her shared dorm with siddheth. she wore the most simple dress she could find. and sat next to the bartender's slab with puffy read eyes, and messed up hair. "get me something strong" she ordered lifelessly 'im gonna get drunk until i pass out ' she reminds herself.
"get me tequila shots please, dont stop until ill tell you to" she waves his card to him.
" its really strong are you sur-" avneet glares at the man to stop.
the bartender starts placing the strong shots in front of her one by one. he was shocked by the speed she gulped each one of them. while she enjoyed the flavor of agave and alcohol also have a fruitiness and richness. she gulped the shots down faster than she ever drank water.
she couldn't feel her tongue anymore,
the rapid evaporation of the alcohol from the surface of her throat, stung her.
the liquid going down her esophagus made her flinch,
she could feel her lungs getting heavy due the the alcohol,
her insides were on fire due the excess alcohol intake,
she signaled the bartender to stop when she could feel her body burning,
she smiled to herself, she broke her own record of her intake of shots.
"13 mark that!" she smirked to the bartender.
she wanted to die now.
〜 📁
YOU ARE READING
epiphany ✓ | sidneet
Fanfiction"is love real?" she asked him. "i dont know about that, but what i feel for you is real" he replied.
