Ishqaan Wala Love

40. Midnight Musings - II

Although Sonu was just minutes behind Ahaan, she had a hard time searching for him.  He seemed to have hidden into nowhere.  Even during their childhood,  Ahaan rarely played hide and seek but when he did, the other two could never ever find his hiding spots.  They always gave up and Ahaan would pop out of nowhere to boo them.  Today wasn't one of those carefree days for Sonu.  In her effort to alleviate her fear,  she had unintentionally hurt him deeply,  just like in his effort to alleviate his burden of responsibilities , he had ended up suffocating her sense of freedom.  Both of them need to heal in one way or the other. 

Sonu checked the lobby, lounge,  restaurant and mandap but he was no where to be found. She reluctantly went ahead to check the bar where she fervently wished he wouldn't be.  But he was. 
Right at the counter. 
With many bottles in front of him.
But
when Sonu reached closer, she realized he was lost in thoughts rather than gulping down all of them. 

Before she reached near him, a waiter came near her and whispered, "Don't worry ma'am. Humne mildest brand ki bottles rakhi hai as per Mr. Kartik's instructions. Sir won't get high before 5-6 bottles"

Once again,  Sonu thought, Kartik knew their Bhai better than her.  He knew where he could be,  he knew what he could be doing.  Kartik knows his Bhai's strengths as well as weaknesses way too well. 

And now even Ishqi. 
Sonu knew Ishqi was right. 
Bhaiya was more mad at himself than her. He was probably cursing himself for not being able to protect his sister but in retrospection, Sonu knew she never gave him a chance in this regard. She did not even try to confide in him thinking he would react this way. Her prejudice was so stronger than her persuasion power and hence she always chose the wrong path of hiding the truth rather than confronting. And that lack of courage had hampered all her most precious relationships...  The one place where she showed courage to tell the truth,  her relationship flourished..  With Raj.  She could have taken this as a cue, but she was too blinded by her upbringing experience to try something even remotely rebellious.

But she wasn't going to start her new life upsetting her favourite person. She placed her hand on Ahaan's shoulder and he turned on reflex but immediately turned back again to hide his red eyes, running nose and quivering lips. Sonu did not miss these details, she was witnessing her strong bhaiya breaking apart with guilt, pain and disappointment. 

Sonu: Meri galti ki saza khud ko mat do bhaiya...  Kyun itni taklif de rahe ho khud ko??

Ahaan: Taklif toh maine tujhe di hai .... Teri poori life mein.... Maine kabhi nahi socha ki tu itna ghut ghut ke jee rahi thi  ...

Mai toh bas tujhe
protect karna chahta tha.... 
Lekin protect hi toh nahi kar paaya

Ahaan was trying hard to control his tears,  he stifled his nose to avoid stuttering and continued.. 

Tujhe yaad hai mai hamesha kya kehta tha?? 
Baantein khushiyan
Baantein gham
Teen nahi
Ek hai hum

Khushiyan toh baant li... 
Gham mei paraya kar diya... 

Ek baar bol ke toh dekhti...

Ahaan paused a little..and then smiled sarcastically at his own self....  Hmmmhhhh.. Bolti bhi kaise... Shayad maine khud hi apne aap ko aisa bana diya ki meri apni behen mujhpe bharosa nahi karti... 

Sonu: Bhaiya.. baat sirf aapki nahi hai.. daadi bhi iss mein mujhe hi galat thehraati.... aapko toh unki thinking pata hai na...  Aur bhaiya aap daadi ke khilaaf kabhi nahi jaate hai.... toh mujhe darr tha ke kahi na kahi aap dono mujhse bhi waise hi sharminda hotey jaise Maa se hotey hai....
Aur mai aap dono ko aisa dard nahi dena chahti thi.....
Mai dadi aur aapki nazro mei girna nahi chahti thi bhaiya....