Of Gears and Humanity

| 15.1

[ELENA]

The sounds of instruments playing constructed tunes echoed in the halls outside my bedroom. The ball had started. The guests were surely preparing for my arrival. With the moon high in the sky, paired with glittering stars, the night should have been perfect. Every royal stepping through their coronation, this was their favorite part—the festivities, the drinks, the foods, the ogling eyes of someone so mesmerized by your presence.

I couldn't think of the party below. At least, not as a welcomed gift. I was too confused to accept it.

Standing in front of the mirror in the corner of my room, I stared at myself. And I didn't see the future queen of Homestead looking back at me. I saw insecurities, unanswered questions, and doubts. While I wore the golden dress designed for every princess taking these steps, it did nothing but make me shimmer in the moonlight coming in from my bedroom window.

I wasn't glowing. Not on the inside.

"Elena." Marleth stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. As I glanced back at her, she smiled. There was a small bottle of healing cream in her hands. "Are you ready?"

I looked back at the mirror, at myself, and the sad look in my eyes. "No," I said.

Marleth frowned in the mirror's reflection before hurrying over to my side. She didn't question my honesty. A part of me knew she was aware of how I felt, even if she didn't know the extent of it. At this point anyone could assume I was simply a princess fearing the next steps to become a queen.

Marleth took one of my hands to apply the cream across my knuckles. It burned, I hissed; a reminder of the afternoon no one warned me about. Was the lake a test? Was it more than looking for the stone of morning glory? It had to be. And it was why no one question the subtle burns on my fingers from when I climbed up onto fiery grass, or the bruises on my arms.

I just had to wear the dress, cover the wounds, and smile. Be ready for my crown.

"Do you hear them down there?" Marleth laughed, flipping my hand over to apply the cream to my palm. "I wonder how much your father spent on this ball. Granted," she glanced up at me, "you deserve every bit of it, Elena, not saying you don't. But they've been preparing for tonight since you left this morning."

I blinked at Marleth as she finished with my one hand and reached for the other. Again, with love and care, she applied the medicine to my knuckles.

"You know, I heard the guards saying just a while ago how you were the first royal to come back so quickly." She shot me a large smile. "Did you know your father took over a day? Even with your mother's help—forever praise Queen Lina—your father took his time."

I turned back towards my mirror. "My father believes in doing things at your own pace with the right person..."

"Oh?" Marleth dipped her head as she blinked. "Is that why he was so accepting of Damien? He doesn't even know the boy. You," she poked my shoulder, "don't even know him. And yet, you were so keen to—"

"To save him, yes," I said, blinking. "He saved me and I've returned the favor."

Marleth stepped back. Having finished with my hands, she closed the small bottle in her hands before placing it on the small table beside my bed. "Have you?" she asked as she stood behind me, fixing the bundle of curls I tried to style on top of my head.

"Have I what?" Marleth wasn't one to question me without reason to. She was older. I always accepted and acknowledged that. And sometimes, I knew, I needed her guidance.