Of Gears and Humanity

| 09.2

[DAMIEN]

When my head hit the ground, I thought the sun had risen. Everything was bright, white, blinding. The heat was real, too. But when my vision focused and the pain settled, I knew it wasn't morning; my body reacted to the impact with an explosion.

But so did that monster.

As I managed to lift myself against the rock the lion had thrown me again, I watched as it howled in agony. It teetered one way and the next until it dropped to the ground. Its head crashed against a rock, just like mine had done. That made me smile.

"Damien!" Elena rushed over to my side in seconds. So fast it made me woozy. The clear vision I had faded for a second, but her hand caught my head before it rolled to one side. She cupped my face with her warm hands. "Damien..."

I had to close my eyes. The stars that weren't there bothered me. The sunlight hadn't faded, despite the moon in the sky. Parts of my stomach turned uncomfortably. I felt, just for a second, that I'd feel sick. Still, a smile pulled at my lips.

"You know," I leaned back against the rock and let my head fall back against it, "all of this looks better in the movies."

"The movies?" Elena reached for my head again. But when I felt her fingers on my cheeks, my head spun. A low groan slipped past my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut. I thought if I pushed away the feeling, the pain would go away.

It didn't. A thousand needles traveled down my spine and the groan I let out changed into a small cry.

Elena, knowing I was in pain, kneeled beside me. Her knees were on either side of mine. Her thumbs caressed my face. I opened my eyes to find hers so close. The curiosity on her face made me smile again, even if it hurt.

"Yeah, movies." I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and quietly hummed to dull the pain. "It looks better in the movies. The fights. The actions. Everything is so—" My chest tightened, my legs tensed, stars appeared in the corners of my eyes. "—coordinated, organized, so—"

Elena moved and sat beside me. My head followed her movements before her hands guided me. I tried to stay focused on her eyes so I could focus on the world, but I found the dry earth and dead trees around her less appealing. With her so close, I saw her, instead. The fullness of her face. The brown in her eyes. She had a small birthmark over her lip, a thin scar on her brow, and this time, with no earrings on her ears, I could see the freckles on her lobes.

The tiny details made me smile until I looked into her eyes again.

"Damien." Elena looked at my shirt, the blood on it. A small sigh left her as she looked at my head. "What are you seeing right now?" she asked.

Licking my lips, I closed my eyes as I exhaled slowly. "You," I whispered before looking at her again. "I see you."

"Good," she said. "How many of me?"

I chuckled before looking at the Gate behind her. The walls hadn't stopped shimmering, even as the dead beast's blood trickled over towards its base. It seemed into the dirt like it belonged there; it sunk into the ground like that was its birthplace. With my legs heavy against the earth underneath me, I looked at my hands, ran my fingers over the pebbles sticky with my blood, and wondered if I was like that beast.

Do I belong here? At the Gate? Fading into the dirt?

"Damien," Elena pulled my attention again, "how many of me do you see?"

Another groan slipped past my lips. "Are there more of you?" Grimacing, I closed one eye. "Am I supposed to see more of—"

Elena pursed her lips as she sat back on her legs. "Well, no, but—"

It took all of my strength to move my hands away from dirt. With my fingers trembling, I reached out and touched Elena's leg as I looked back at her face. "If there aren't more of you, then we can be the last humans together," I whispered. "Just me and you."

The tops of Elena's cheeks turned pink. Flushed. I wanted to lift my hand to touch her, just like she'd done me. But the second I moved, I felt sick, and couldn't keep my head up anymore. "You know," I breathed, "as much as this hurts, I'm happy I jumped the Gate."

"Hey, hey." Elena reached for my head again, fingers pressed up over my ears.

My vision swirled as I looked into her eyes. "Are you okay, Elena?" I whispered.

"I'm fine," she searched my face, "but you're not. You're hurt. And you're hurt really bad, Damien."

I followed Elena's eyes as she inspected me. And she had every right to do it. The blood from my head, I knew it was there, but I hadn't felt the burning on my side; not until I actually looked at it. Blood seeped through my shirt, through the claw marks dug into the side of my ribs. That alone created a puddle of red by my thigh.

I could only laugh. "So much for everything Arvon tried to teach me." Sighing, I touched my head. My fingers were wet, sticky, with my blood. The amount of it dripped down my palm. "I can't be mad at him; an Attribution's memory only goes so far, you know."

Elena's brows pulled close together. "An Attribution? You... you were taught by Attributions?"

Darkness pressed in around the corner of my eyes. I groaned, then squeezed my eyes shut. I felt Elena shift back, away from me. Instinctively, I reached forward. I grabbed her wrist. When I lifted my head to look at her, I only saw her shadow. "Yes," I tried to answer her question. "Arvon's my father..."

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