"Sir Guy's Atonement" (Book 3) by Gratiana Lovelace, 2015 (a Wattys2015 Nominee)

Ch. 21 (PG-13, D): Forgiveness is an Illusory Dream, Part 1

The lighted candle sticks on pedestal holders stand on either side of the simple wooden altar serve as sentinels protecting it--casting a soft glow.  However, there is not much of worth to a thief.  There is no bible upon the altar since the written word is too precious and rare to leave sitting out for thieves intent upon desecrating this holy place--Brother Tuck will bring it with him upon the morrow.  There is no gold plate--it, too, will be brought in during the services. But there is a fire mottled iron cross salvaged from the old burned church that is fixed to the wall above the altar for all to pray to. And as a church, the simple cross is all that is required.

Coming to stand before the step at the base level of the outer altar area side aisle where baptisms often occur, Baron Guy lifts his right foot to step onto it and draw nearer to the altar--with benches for the wealthier congregants to sit  upon near the front. But his leg hovers in the air a moment, hesitating about his worthiness to disturb this holy place. And he slowly places his right foot down upon the rush covered ground again. No, the holiness of the altar inner area is not for him.  His former sins are many, and his misdeeds put him out of favor with God--perhaps for eternity.

Baron Guy walks to the center, standing in front of the altar and he drops his head in an attitude of prayer, clasping and unclasping his hands in nervousness to be standing in supplication before God.  The clammy sweat of his hands made cool by the early evening breeze through an open window under the eaves.  And then he finds that he cannot be so disrespectful as to remain standing when he is a supplicant, petitioning god for forgiveness and in thanks. 

So Baron Guy lowers himself to his knees [(4) right]  and looks up at the iron cross as he prays.  It is a prayer that might not be fitting for one such as him--a sinner.  But it is a prayer from his childhood, one that his mother the Lady Ghislaine taught him.  And he prays it now aloud in his deeply rich baritone voice, trembling with fear, for his fervent wish to believe the  words and the promise of the 23rd Psalm.

Baron Guy [(5) spoken in Latin]:  

"Domini est terra et plenitudo ejus; Et nihil mihi deerit.
Quia ipse super maria fundavit accubabit fundavit eum et super flumina.
Et animam meam refecit duxit me per semitas iustitiae propter nomen suum.
Nam, et si ambulavero in medio umbrae mortis, non timebo mala, quoniam tu mecum es, virga tua et baculus tuus ipsa consolabuntur me.
Parasti in conspectu meo mensam coram inimicis Impinguasti in oleo caput meum; Deo salutari suo.
Sed et benignitas et misericordia subsequetur me omnibus diebus vitae meae et habitabo in domo Domini in longitudinem dierum.”

Baron Guy (English translation):
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” [(5)]

Silence.  None but the gentle breezes outside the eaves windows respond to his entreaties to God.  Sir Guy Baron of Gisborne is happy in his life now with his wife Lady Rose and their children.  But will this happiness last, he wonders?  Why should he, of all people, be given happiness, when others, innocents, have died at his hand? 

He hears another whoosh of the wind and his head turns to where he thinks he hears the sound coming from.  His eyes rest upon a carved marble statue off to the other side aisle and partially obscured by a wooden screen.  He knows what the figure is, even before he rises and begins walking toward it.  Coming to stand before the figure of the Madonna and child, Baron Guy is struck with awe at the face gazing back at him.