Kya Paate Hain Kya Khotein Hain...

A Dagger Through Your Heart (Devakshi)

Disclaimer: This isn't meant to bash any character, or to prove who is superior/inferior to whom. This is just to portray that while people may seem perfect to us, they are also flawed. That they can be wrong, and may have qualities which are less than desirable. And I request you to understand them. (* At bottom)

I was never perfect,

You were never whole,

When we came together,

Life seemed beautiful.

You were the reason,

Behind the smile in my eyes.

With you I learnt its ok to cry.

You took me in your arms,

And turned it to a fairytale.

You took my bitterness,

You took my pride,

With you I knew that,

I don't have to hide.

You held my hand,

Showed life is an art.

And I know you'd love me,

Even if I put a dagger through your heart.

People mostly tend to view KRPKAB through the lens of a single character, and since ITV caters to the female viewers, people generally see the female perspective (especially female lead's).

And though KRPKAB is a male centric show (It is shown through Dev's eyes and revolves around him), then also people are biased towards Sonakshi more than any other character, and take any wrongs committed on her, personally, and forgive/ignore the wrongs she committed.

Dev isn't perfect, but she isn't also.

While we question Dev for demeaning her on the night of farmhouse, she was no less that night, was she? She called him spineless, he questioned her motherhood. (Niether Sonakshi believes that Dev is spineless or Dev considers that Sonakshi is inferior. Their fights have a reason, but their bitter words are only meant to hurt the other person in the most gruesome way.)

Even in the post-leap track, they continue to question each other's characters, intentions and keep defaming each other. They are not white and black, they are grey.

And even after so much bitterness they accept each other as who they are.

Dev is not some MCP, he is a staunch feminist. He never questions someone ability to do a job on the basis of gender. All his life he has seen women winning through hard work and talent, (Ishwari, his sisters, Tina, Asha, Natasha, Sonakshi, Suhana...), nor he was brought up where he was taught that men were superior (He was punished when he pushed his sister, when he was young).

With Sonakshi, they have this relation of equality, where he can be unfiltered, honest and someone who'd accept him even if he could be bitter and angry on her. He granted her the same courtesy.

Sonakshi isn't some doormat or cold-hearted person, but she isn't perfect either. She is judgmental, classist (she thinks that rich people are snobs, who always look down upon the poor), and has this moral absolutism, where she thinks she's always correct (when she's not). But she never takes vitriol lying down either (definition of a doormat), she gives back the vitriol equally.

So, while we ooh and aah over their dreamy courtship phase, we take sides in their bad phase.

Sonakshi, more vocal of the two often voices her displeasure throughout their relationship, like calling him classist when he voices his reluctance to accept Ranveer's status*, Mumma's boy**. Dev rarely voices his hurt, he keeps it inside him, it festers, and then one day it explodes, so his words hurt more, like when he questions her status and motherhood***.

Post-leap, they start with a war of words, where even if they love each other, it is overshadowed by bitterness. She meddles in his relationship, he almost breaks her door. She takes a part of his office, he breaks down the wall. He questions her character, she calls him spineless. Then she questions his character, he locks her in the office. And this continues... But even underneath the hate, they care about each other. There is pride in his face when she wins the award. Even when her father was hell-bent on getting him arrested, she called off the cops. When Vickky dared to question her character, Dev would've maimed him, if Golu was not present. Even with all the hate, it's their personal fight, something they share, where they do not like outsiders' (even if it's their family) interference.

Dev and Sonakshi have always kept their harshest and rawest sides reserved for each other, for they know, even if it takes time, they will have an understanding, and forgive each other without even having to say sorry for every mistake.

Relationships do not work as checks and balances, where one keeps score of the good and bad, they work because of both the partners' ability to accept each other as who they're, and help them become better as an unit and individuals. They are called as better-halves, as they showcase our best-half to the world, while absorbing our worst in private. 

So while people wait for a chain of sorrys, I'm proud and satisfied that I saw a couple who never needed to say these mere words as apology, rather than they showed it with their actions.

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*Dev does not look down upon Ranveer because he's poor, he's worried because he knows Neha would not be able to adjust. This is where twisted patriarchy comes in. Women are told to accept their partner's status regardless. If we as women have to accept our partner's inheritance and family, shouldn't they should too? Why can't Ranveer (or any other male) accept/adjust to the wealth their female partners bring?

(This is also my pet-peeve, like why can't there be shows or situations where instead of rich female leads accepting the poor background of her partner, the man does it? Where Ghar Jamai's are not considered quintessential leeches.)

**Mumma's boy used as a derogatory term, which is sexist as is the term Joru ka gulaam. If a man respects his mother, and takes care of her feelings, it is simply because he acknowledges the care and hardships she went through while bringing him up. Similarly, if a man takes pride in his wife's accomplishments, and takes her advice, doesn't mean he has simply lost his individuality. Mumma's boy, often used by the bride and her family, and Joru ka gulam, used by the grooms' family, not only is meant to question a man's masculinity but at the same time demeans the respective females, a mother and a wife. The sad part is it's done mostly by females. I hope that whenever we use these words, we remember that not only we are demeaning beautiful relationships that two people share, we are demeaning ourselves too.

***Dev never questioned/even thought about Sonakshi's status throughout the show. Even in the case of infertility, he accepts the harsh truth immediately. Even when that news takes him aback, he only ever thinks how Sonakshi and Ishwari would be hurt when the news comes out. Dev says two things that would hurt Sonakshi the most, when he realizes that their relationship is over. Sonakshi takes an unhealthy pride on her status, and judges rich people on their wealth. In case of infertility, people and women themselves take it as its some form of a crime if a woman can't conceive. What is supposed to be a minor physical imperfection becomes a dark sin. So, while Dev never believed in these things, he who had been already hurt so much, just twists the knife, so she can be equally hurt.

And say what you want to say, when we fight with people whom we love, we say the harshest thing that would hurt them the most. (If you don't you are a saint, I'll admit I'm not).  

Healthy discussions welcome.