Ishqaan Wala Love

39. Midnight Musings - I

Raj: Lekin humein sirf usey punish nahi karna hai..  Example set karna hai ke uske jaise ameerzaade bhi aisa kaam karke bachenge nahi... 

Ishqi: Exactly.. Lekin mujhe uske parents ke liye bohot bura lag raha hai. Humein unhe jald se jald bata dena chahiye...  Mai nahi chahti ki unhein achanak jhatka lagey.. 

Ahaan: Chahta toh mai bhi nahi, lekin unko batane ke liye hamare paas saare jawab hone chahiye jo filhal mere paas bhi nahi hai... 

Kartik responded to Ahaan saying "Jaise?"  but he looked at Sonu meaningfully because he already knew their unanswered questions on his Bhai's mind... 

That was her cue.  Sonu knew it.  She was unusually quiet since this discussion began but she had to speak now. This was her chance to come clean from the burden of a herculean lie. 

As she gathered her courage to speak up,  Ahaan responded to Kartik....  Jaise Why Sonu?  Aur agar usey Sonu pasand thi toh usey seedha confess karne ki jagah aise underhand ways kyun use kiye?  Aur phir ishqi se engagement kyun ki?  Kahin woh mujhse kisi chiz ka badla toh nahi le raha tha ..  Lekin kis cheez ka ? Maine toh hamesha uska bhala chaha hai..  Bhala kiya hai..   Toh mujhe aisa dhoka kyun? 

Sonu finally spoke because she could not see her bhaiya blame himself for everything...  "Bhaiya...  Mujhe ....aapko... kuch ...batana hai... 

Ahaan: I know tu yahi kahegi na ke party mei jaana teri galti thi and all that...  Lekin Sonu, Mayank jaise log kahin bhi faayda utha sakte hai. Party mei nahi aati toh kisi aur tarike se koshish karta... 

Sonu: Bhaiya, kahin na kahin galti meri bhi thi...  Maine himmat nahi dikhayi pehle sach bolne ki.. 

Ahaan: Kaun sa sach? Kya Mayank tujhe pehle se pareshan karta tha?  Kabse aur kyun? 

Sonu: Bhaiya..  Baat utni simple bhi nahi hai...please meri poori baat sunn lena ... phir chahe jitna ghussa karna ho kar lena... aaj nahi bataya toh pata nahi phir kab himmat kar paun....

Ahaan got up from his place and sat by Sonu.. And holding his little sister's hand, he softly asked : Aisa kya hai Sonu jo tu itni dari hui hai? 

Ishqi also came closer and sat in front of her with the bonfire behind her. Sonu felt very protected with everyone surrounding her from all sides. She began to narrate her truth that she had played in her mind a hundred times since Raj had told her everything.

Sonu:  Woh actually bhaiya, ek waqt tha jab meri Mayank ke saath kaafi achchi dosti thi..  Although wo aapki age ka tha, mujhe ussey darr nahi lagta tha, jaise aapse lagta hai... Cool sa lagta tha... Usey maloom tha ke mai aapse kitna darti hoon, toh woh mujhe chori chupe woh chizein laake deta tha jo aap ya dadi mana karte thay..... Jaise nail art kit, movie tickets, party passes, tequila shots wagera... Jo baat mai aapse share karne se darti thi, woh usko bata deti aur woh mujhe help karta..  Jaise ek baar Shayna ke ghar pe night out tha... aur aapne saaf mana kar diya tha, raat ko woh chupke se mujhe bike pe le gaya tha aur subah mujhe ghar ke baahar drop kar diya jahan se mai joggigng ki dress mei ghar mei aa gayi aur woh baad mei mera bag drop kar ke gaya... aisi choti choti chizein.... bilkul harmless chizein... 

Raj raised an eyebrow and said, " harmless?" He knew her past but not where it started. he had never shown interest earlier, but these little instances that Sonu labelled as 'harmless' were anything but harmless. Mayank was taking advantage of the trust and freedom issues these Malhotra siblings had, right from day 1. But Raj was sensible enough not to break Sonu's confession with his opinion. He could always express his opinion when she finished what she had to say. 

Sonu too gave Raj a pleading look to not interrupt and continued, "But I swear tab usne kabhi mera koi fayda nahi uthaya... phir kuch mahino baad usne mujhe propose kiya aur maine bhi apne bachpane mein haan bol diya... I dont think i really loved him, shayad mai bas uske saath mili hui freedom enjoy karti thi.... lekin proposal baad se hi, woh har waqt mauka dhunta rehta tha close aane ki... mai hamesha avoid kar deti thi but phir ek din woh mujhe ek party mei le gaya... wahan usne force karne ki koshish ki toh maine turant break up kar liya.... ek do din woh try karta raha patch up karne ki, kabhi pyar se, kabhi dara dhamkakar but mujhe tab tak realize ho gaya tha ke i dont love him, in fact mujhe ussey darr lagne laga tha.... So i totally avoided him... May be I was not ready for a relationship... Phir woh US chala gaya Uncle ki health k wajeh se, aur maine bhi apna number change kar liya.  

Jab woh wapas aaya toh uski Ishqi se shaadi ki baat chal rahi thi... Mujhe laga woh chapter wahin khatam ho gaya. I was so relieved and in fact happy for him and Ishqi. Lekin phir shaadi ki shopping waley din se woh mujhe blackmail karne laga ke mai apni shaadi tod doon..  Mai bohot darr gayi thi...  Aap logon ne notice bhi kiya tha lekin mujhme sach batane ki himmat nahi thi kyunki mujhe lagta tha ke aap mujhe hi blame karoge... 

Ahaan was slowly letting go of Sonu's hand that he was holding.  At this point, he just released it abruptly....  not sure if he was angry at how Mayank betrayed him or heartbroken that his sister did not trust him. In his effort to never let her miss the father figure in her life,  he couldn't even become a brother she could trust. 

Sonu continued: Lekin phir himmat jutakar Raj ko uske threats ke baare mein bataya..  Actually maine Raj ko shaadi se pehle hi Mayank ke baare mei bhi bata diya tha..  Isliye usey meri situation samajh aayi..  

Raj mere saath khada raha toh Mayank darr sa gaya..  In fact hum Ishqi ko bhi sab kuch batane waley thay.   Lekin usne naya tarika apnaya..  Usne kaha ke mai Ishqi ko na batau kyunki woh iss rishte ko ek mauka dena chahta hai..  Mujhe laga Ishqi already itni problems mei ghiri hui hai..  Iss sach se kahin unki shaadi na toot jaaye...  Lekin I swear tab mai bilkul nahi jaanti thi aap aur Ishqi ek dusre se pyar karte hai.... 

Ishqi: Sonu, baat ye nahi hai ki mai aur AVM kya feel karte thay...  Baat ye hai ki itni pyari family hone ke bawajood tum akeli sab kuch kyun sehti rahi..  Thank God tumhe Raj jaisa partner mila lekin usse pehle bhi,  tumne ye baatein apni family se chupayi kyun?? Haan AVM thode khar.... I mean strict teacher jaise hai.. Aur Dadi usi school ki headmastarni hai...  Lekin Kartik ya chachi ko toh bata sakti thi..  Socho Mayank tumhare saath kuch kar leta toh tumhari family ka kya haal hota?

Sonu: I know Ishqi... Lekin mai darr gayi thi ki sab mujhe hi blame karenge...  Kahenge isi ne uksaya hoga..  Isi ne chance diya hoga .. Yehi gayi hogi uske paas bhi...  Uss din jagrate pe bhi bhaiya uss ladki ko hi blame kar rahe thay... 

Ahaan stirred for a moment at how his own thoughts had distanced him from his only sister, but Sonu continued... 

Bachpan se mujhse perfect hone ki ummeed lagate thay sab. Lekin uss perfection mein ghutan hoti thi mujhe. Mera bhi khulke jeene ka mann karta tha...  Ye mat karo, woh mat pehno, yaha mat jao, waha mat ghumo..  Inn sab paabandiyon se mujhe chirh machti thi...  Shayad isi liye mai shaadi shaadi karti thi, yeh sochkar ke shayad shaadi ke baad mei khulkar saans le saku... 

I am sorry bhaiya...  I know aap mere bhale ke liye mujhpar rok tok lagate thay, lekin honestly....  I used to feel caged.  Pinjre ke baahar ki duniya explore karna chahti thi mai... 

Ahaan's face had an inexplicable expression at that moment. All of them could not really decipher whether he was angry,  disappointed, vulnerable or stressed. After a few moments of deafening silence while all eyes were on him,  Ahaan smashed his coffee mug on the blocks near the pool and stormed back towards the lobby.  Kartik immediately got up to follow his brother but Ishqi stopped him. 

Ishqi: Tum nahi Kartik.
Sonu, tum jao.
I don't think wo tumpe gussa hai, unhe apne thoton pe guilt mach rahi hogi... Tum jaanti ho unki bhi galti nahi hai...  Bachpan mei hi kuch jyada bade ho gaye .. Parso raat se pehle unhone khud bhi khulkar kaha jiya hai... Zimmedariyon ke bojh ne unhein khadoos bana diya tha... 

Filhaal ek achcha bhai nahi bann paane ka dard unko khaye ja raha hai...  Aur ye dard sirf tum kam kar sakti ho Sonu..  Isliye Jao....  Go!!!! 

As Sonu got up to go,  Ishqi smiled and said,  "Hum yahin hai...  Manakar le aao unhein..  Bohot saari planning karni hai....  All the best! 

To be continued..