Straight

XXX

Brett moves very suddenly and before Eddy knows it Brett's head is on his shoulder. He sobs quietly, and Eddy puts his arm around him and strokes his back. What else can he do? He has no idea what to do now, what to say now. Why has he made him cry?
"Bretty. It's okay. I'm sorry. It'll be okay. I promise."
With a shock Brett sits back up again and his eyes seem to spit fire. 
"Will you stop saying sorry?"
He swipes at the tears and seems to take a deep breath. 
"Oh, fuck. Eddy." he says then, his voice pushed, harsh. "Just tell me... I need to know, are you sure? Are you really sure, about this?"
"What do you mean, of course I am sure." Eddy replies in a monotone. "I'm fucking up our whole lives by saying this, right? Trust me, I'm sure."
"Oh my God." Brett says then. "Oh God, Eddy."
He stares at the far wall, and his bottom lip quivers but his eyes are wide.
"Eddy.. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe I... I'm about to say this. But you're... you're not fucking anything up." He turns to Eddy and takes his hand on his own leg. Squeezes it softly as new tears form in his wide eyes. "The opposite is true." he whispers then. "Because I... I love you too."

The world crashes together again and forms a new universe, a different one. Eddy can do nothing but stare at his best friend. 
"What?" he manages after an eternity. 
Slowly, slowly, Brett nods. And then comes closer. Time is still suspended around them and Eddy has stopped breathing. 
"Oh my God. Eddy." Brett whispers again. "I... I'm going to have to kiss you now."
Eddy has no words, he just stares, wide eyed, as Brett comes even closer. He closes his eyes as their lips touch. 
Fireworks go off somewhere, somewhere in this new world. And he kisses him back, gently at first, but he quickly loses himself. 
Brett's lips are soft, silky, silky smooth, and they taste like home. Like belonging. Like elixir. Brett's tongue against his lips is tentative at first, but he has no space now, he grunts and kisses him deeper, allowing his tongue in, twirling his around it to the pounding beat of his heart. 
And somehow this is deeper, more intimate than anything they've done before. He's seen him come, he's made him come, but this? This is real. 
This is life. 

When they finally let each other go they sit in silence for the longest time. It's already starting to get a bit dusky, outside, but still they don't speak. They just sit there and hold hands. And after a while Eddy intertwines their fingers, just like he wanted, last time they sat here. Back when they were in a different universe. 
"Whoa." Brett says, at last. 
"Yeah." Eddy answers. 
"I... I can't believe this is really happening."
"Me neither. I thought you'd turn me away, the second you knew."
"Never." Brett says gently, and he leans forward to kiss him on the side of his mouth. Beams at him, as if he can't believe his just done that. Looks at him soberly, takes a breath that seems to carry the weight of the world in it. Nods once. 
"I've always loved you, you know."
"What?" Eddy blanks for a second, then stares at him in astonishment. He can see straight away that he means it. But... how? 
"Yeah. I just... I never said. I could never say."
"Why?"
"You were straight, Eddy." he says almost harshly. "You had never shown any interest in any boys whatsover. But I fell in love with you in that very first math tutoring. I fell harder the day after, at orchestra. We were fifteen. I just... I parked it. I had no choice."
Eddy stared at his best friend as if he were seeing him for the very first time.
"Jesus, Brett."
"Yeah. Look... I'm sorry if that feels like I've deceived you. For all those years."
Eddy blinks at him and grasps around for his wits. Brett has loved him? And he never knew? How could he not have seen?
"Of course it doesn't,Bretty. I get it." he says. "I just... whoa, I feel like such an arse for never seeing. You... you must have felt so alone."
He is quiet for a long moment, deliberating, thinking of a lonely, confused fifteen year old Brett. And he is way too raw, now. Why would there be anything to hold back?
"I'm not straight, you know."
"You liked Vanessa though, right?" Brett says with a shrug. "And Jill? You liked kissing her, didn't you?"
"Yeah. I did. I guess... I don't know, maybe I'm bi? Or something? But she pales in comparison, Bretty, you've got to know that. I love you too. I'm just so sorry it's taken me so long to realise."