No Escape

Death Parts Us

Alison stared at the mirror in front of her, dazed and unseeing. She barely felt anything. No, that was wrong. She didn't feel anything. She couldn't recognize the black dress she had on. She couldn't recognize the mirror. She barely managed to see herself beneath the sunken eyes, the dark circles surrounding them and the accompanied puffiness of almost her whole face from hours, days of crying. She raised a hand to run over the several cuts on her arms, already healing.

The same couldn't be said about the rest of her.

She barely reacted to the hand on her shoulder and she looked up at Spencer. She then remembered that she had been staying there for the last few days, and Spencer had been looking after her. She forced a tight lipped smile that she knew Spencer wouldn't believe, but would return just because.

Both their eyes were filled with grief and Ali drew familiarity from that.

"We need to go, Ali."

She gave a small nod, following Spencer out of the room, willing herself not to think about the past few days, trying to block out the events of that day. She didn't want to think about why she was going to a funeral. She didn't want to see who she was going to a funeral for. She didn't want to face anything, anyone. She wanted to stay in this room, the spare room of the Hastings' and pretend the past few days hadn't happened.

She wanted to be with the one person she couldn't be with at the moment.

The sob ripped out of her, and it was like Spencer had been used to it, that she was beside Alison before the blonde collapsed to the floor.

"I can't do this," Alison gasped out, arms curling inward to protect herself as Spencer lowered her to the floor, unable to hold her up completely.

Spencer tightened her hold on Alison's arms. "It won't take long, Ali. Just a couple of hours. To say good-"

"I can't, Spencer."

Alison's face crumpled, and she only looked defeated when she shot Spencer a last look, before forcing the last of her strength to push herself up and out of the door, running towards a place she still didn't know where.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was after everyone was gone, and all the prepared written words were said that Alison had found her way to the tombstone she had avoided all day. The day was about to end, and her dress was limp against her body. She'd fallen asleep on it, at the porch of the house she had been staying in for the past half year. She'd ran there for the small comfort of the memory of the girl she still loved so much, she sometimes couldn't breathe just thinking about her.

It was crippling, she realized.

She stared at the tombstone now, fresh tears flowing down her cheeks. She was surprised she was still capable of crying. She thought she'd be all dry by now. She thought it would be less painful. She thought it would feel less like it had just happened a few hours ago. But really it only felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest all over again, and she'd feel a wave of grief slam through her and she'd start crying again.

It was maddening.

She drew her legs closer to herself and she placed her chin over her knees, making herself smaller. Because that's all she felt she was. She felt insignificant. She felt she shouldn't be alive. Maybe if she hadn't ever been born, none of past few years would have happened. She was the center piece of it all, and she believed without her everyone would be better off.

She pressed her lips against her arm on a sob.

Maybe if she stayed a little bit longer, she'd feel a little less responsible.

 "I would have done anything you asked of me," she said in between gasps and sobs. "I would have done anything."

She looked away from the name she had been staring at for the past half hour and she tried to hold her breath in a futile attempt to stop herself from crying. Every waking moment that's all she did. She just wanted the pain to stop. She just wanted to go back to a few days ago when she'd woken up to her girlfriend. She just wanted to bask in those last few minutes. She wished she'd stared a little longer, held a little tighter. She wished she'd done a little more for Emily. With a shake of her head she pushed herself up, not wanting to stay in the cemetery anymore.

She barely held herself together when the soil was being shoveled into the whole the coffin was in. Along with the grief, images of her mother burying her were clear as day behind her eyelids. She didn't think she'd survive without a panic attack. But she was on meds. She got through with a short moment hypervetilating.

She walked away from the grave, wanting to forget. She was already in her car when she received the call. She was about to let it go into voicemail, but she thought she should at least respond to some of the well wishers. She thought she should talk to a few people before she left Rosewood once and for all.

When she lifted the phone to her ear, she gasped at the voice at the other end of the phone.

"Ali?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE END

A/N: I've decided I'm going to write 2 versions of a sequel. A dark one and one which will show our girls in a happy ending. :) Watch out for those! As always, all my love and dedication to my reviewers!
Ummmyeah - Thank you so much! I'm going to see if I can still insert these kinds of things into one of the two sequels I'm going to write. :)
JackyLittleLiar - Don't worry! I'll still be writing more of emison, and definitely going to be writing more of them in a different AU, too. :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO STUCK BY THIS STORY!!! THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FIC! I LOVE YOU ALL!! ALL MY APPRECIATION GOES TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!! <3 <3 <3