Defeated

Part 6

Especially when something happens that I know you will think is funny. That is the time Las that I miss you the most. When we were younger, you had this lively laugh. Your laugh was so infectious that everyone else around you smiled just seeing you laugh. We had so many inside jokes when we were just five. We had a hilarious nickname for everyone, even for each other. I wish you were here Las. I really wish you were her. I would have made you love life.

I can go on and on about all the things I miss about you to the point that I start to feel sorry for myself again. I miss your punctuality. I miss how you fell asleep in my arms and to just see you. I love you more than any brother loves his sister in this world. You know mother and father love you too. They truly do. You could have chosen to live. You could have met La again. She remembers us, she remembers everything. She misses you as much as I do.

Sixteen years do not seem like near enough time to spend with you over the course of a lifetime. I will choose another sixteen, another sixteen and another sixteen. I will give anything in the world to have you by my side now. But as people say, maybe you are in a better place. For sixteen years you were half of me. We are twins. We even shared our mother's womb. So not having you in my life is hard. But I will always thank God for the sixteen years we had.

I honestly thought I would never be able to say that. I am happy Las. For once in my entire life, I am completely happy. Mother is happy too. Just to make you jealous, she loves La as much as she loves you. Just kidding. No parent can love anyone else more than his or her own child. We miss you and we always will. I was ready to give up on life and move to the next with you. Maybe I would have taken that step if La never came to that store.

So I guess it ends here. This is my very last letter to you. Because you see, I have someone else to write letter to right now who will actually read them. Hell, I will write La a letter every single day. Sometimes maybe two or three a day. But we always text so much that I do not feel writing to her. I take screenshots of as many texts I can of us. Maybe someday we will read this and laugh at our cringes. You ended all our ties the day you chose to leave me anyways.