Defeated

Part 2

Laasya, remember when we were kids and I made everyone stop calling me Dae? I miss you Las, why did you leave? If you wanted to call me Dae, I would have let you. Only if you chose to stay alive, I would have given the world to you. It was better when we were young. Things were still complicated but at least the word suicide was foreign to us. La used to call me Dae and never called me by my second name. So I asked you to stop too.

We were seven years old and it was the first and only time we ever went to Knott's Berry Farm. I wish we went there when we were seventeen too. Maybe you would not have been so depressed then. It was a beautiful journey before we actually reached the destination. The park was so crowded the day we went. Felt like all the people in the world planned to go to the park on that day. There were so many rides. Remember how scary the roller coaster was?

They put you and Dad on first and I had to wait for the next car to pull in. What could we do if your height could not match mine. I was tall enough to ride on most of them alone. You pouted because even the ticket checker thought you were my younger sister. But you know, right after the roller coaster started, I wished I was in your place. You were in the very first seat with Dad and I could see your hands in the air and hear your excited shrieks.

I turned back around when the next car pulled up. I waved to Mom. Mom did not want to go on the roller coaster because she was scared. Dad tried to convince her so many times. Even he went so far as to half carry her to one of the carts. But she did not get in. You were so happy that day. You were genuinely happy. You got in tears many times in that day too, but all those tears were of happiness. If you chose to live, I would have taken you there again.

I met a girl a few days back. I looked at her and I could see so much of you in her. Though you two are total opposites. I wish you could meet her. She is just as bold as you. Maybe you could have been best friends. Maybe I will let his one and only girl call me Dae. It is so long since someone called me by my first name. But the two times we met, she did not call me at all. I wish you were here Las. Fate made me meet her. It is only fate.