Fate's Chance

36

"I guess that's something only she could answer but that is a great question. Maybe you were the only one that caught her attention." Or she knew that I had a weakness for love "You said you tried to leave her?"

"Yeah, the um the second time she cheated, I remember being so pissed at her for doing this to me again but she begged me to stay. The first time I tried to leave, she just went ballistic and just started screaming crying. If that didn't work, she would get in my head and tell me things that I wanted to hear just so she wouldn't have to see me leave. I honestly never understood her, she didn't love me but she would threaten to end herself if I were to leave. She always cheated on me but hated the thought of me even looking at another woman. She was like a parasite that I just couldn't get rid of but id be lying if I said it was just her fault why we didn't end for good"

"Well what happened?"

"Because we were so loved by not only the media but the industry as well, which is so fucked up by the way, my label figured it would be best if we would put on this facade for the cameras so that we both could stay relevant and give the world something to talk about and what do people love more than a great love story"

"Seriously? You stayed because your label said so?"

"Yeah I know it sounds sillly but when I was sisxteen I basically signed my life away when I signed with my label. I was young and hadn't read a single paper" If only I could go back in time, I would've never signed those stacks of paper at least not without reading them. " Anyway yeah it was horrible long story short. Being with her was like living in my own personal hell. Three whole years of fake smiling and lying about our relationship and posing in front of cameras just to stay relevant? That shit is by far the lamest thing I've ever done. I know this all must sound crazy to you and I can't imagine what you may think of me for being wrapped around her finger so pitifully but love makes you do crazy things"

"I'm sorry"

"Hm? Why are you apologizing?" I chuckled at her genuine apology. Anyone would feel sorry for me after hearing just a summary of what my past was like but there's no need for any sympathy. Being that I was mentally done with the relationship long before we called it quits, it was faster for me to heal from damage shed caused.

"Because you had to go through that"

"It's alright honey, if anyone should be apologizing it should be her"

"Yeah but, you and I both know she won't." I remained silent knowing very well that she was correct. For quite sometime, I hated her for not feeling sorry for anything she'd done to me which was causing way more damage onto me. Refusing to forgive her until I received the apology I deserved, hindered me from moving on and healing. The sooner I realized that, the better I became mentally
"So I will apologize on her behalf Justin. I promise you will never have to experience anything like that ever again. You suffered enough back then and honestly I'm so proud of you for making out of that toxic relationship, mentally sane. And I don't think you're pathetic for loving her the way that you did so please stop thinking that. I actually Admire you so much more than I did before which I didn't think was possible. You're so strong" My vision began to blur as I continued to listen to my ray of sunshine on the other line. "Thank you Justin for letting me in after such a last relationship . Most people would shut others out for the rest of their lives but you opened your heart once more, which is why I too am grateful for you"

And there it was, I thought as several tears began to crawl down my face. Every word she said had been what my heart longed to hear for quite sometime. I never told anyone any details on my past relationship because I always thought it was embarrassing on my behalf. How could this huge pop star be so strung out for this one woman? I was certain society would judge me saying that I was "too sensitive" and try to make me feel less of a man for loving someone more than I could bare.

It was as if a hundred pound weight had been planted on my chest weighing me down until now. I was more than relieved to share this with someone and ecstatic that that someone was Arabella

"Justin? You there still?"

"Y-Yeah I'm here. You just—you really make me happy "

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're so genuine with everything that you say which is so rare. Your words are too kind love, thank you" I tried to maintain my composure not wanting to completely sob at the sudden happiness she brought unto me. I never realized how unhappy I was all this time until this very moment. The emotions I felt seemed so foreign and fantasy-like. I forgot what it felt like to have someone care for you

"You're more than welcome hun, I'm glad you were able to share that with me. Hey you wanna fall asleep on the phone?"

"Oh man I haven't done that since I was fifteen" I chuckled wiping the tears always with the sleeve of my shirt. It was amazing how she could lift the mood no matter what.

"I know right but I think it'll be cute to fall asleep on the phone."

"Okay sure"

"Are you laying down in bed?"

"Yeah I am"

"Okay good, goodnight"

"Goodnight love" I replied looking straight up to the ceiling. After pouring out to her, I was unable to sleep reflecting on how my life has changed drastically.

I was sure she'd falling asleep until I heard her soft voice

"Justin"

"Yes?"

"You should sing me a song"

"I don't know, you don't think that's a bit.... I don't know, cringey?"

"No way! In fact I think it would be quite romantic for my musician of a man to sing me a lullaby. Come on it'll help me sleep listening to your soothing voice"

"Okay baby what do you want to hear"

"Doesn't matter, I just wanna listen to your voice"

I smiled looking at the screen as if she could see me.

"One touch and you got me stoned
Higher than I've ever known
You call the shots and I follow
Sunrise, but the night still young
No words, but we speak in tongues
If you let me, I might say too much
Your touch blurred my vision
It's your world and I'm just in it
Even sober I'm not thinkin' straight
'Cause I'm off my face,

in love with you"