𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎, 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉? || nishimura riki ff

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~~~ s y l v a n a 💐

it has been a couple of weeks since the training has started. ever since i got accepted to become a trainee, my life has become a living hell. on top of that, i have been taking lessons to learn Korean and dance, so that just added into my 13th reason on why I should quit. to be honest, i do not really know how i have managed to still kept going; maybe because of Sawyer? or maybe i really want to show others—specifically my parents—that I am capable on doing things myself.

it is currently the 24th of December, making it christmas eve. my parents—being the boomer they are—posted their pictures on their facebook accounts; pictures and videos filled with them and a bunch of other people opening presents, laughing together, and many more. it looks like they're having a good time, i thought. normally, i would be with them celebrating. but since i am now here Korea, as a trainee, it means there is less time for those things, and i have to constantly practice my "skills".

i have been practicing the choreography for Butterfly - Loona for 4 hours straight along with a bunch of girls that are also in the survival show.

"-you guys can have a 5 minute break. we will end the practice session as soon as it hits 10pm, so you guys cannot slack off," the choreographer yelled.

i could feel my heartbeat trying to escape my ribs, as well as my throat tensing up due to the lack of consuming water and tiredness. i walked to where i placed all my belongings at. i started to chug down the bottle of water that have brought.

"only 47 more minutes, and we're done," Soji exclaimed. i finished my bottle of water and talked to her.

"i know, i have never been so excited to go home," i responded.

"me too. anyway, do you have family to celebrate the evening with?" she asked.

"no, all of them are in the states. but i do have my bestfriend here with me tho, so i guess you can count her as family," i said, chuckling along the way.

"i am so sorry about that. well, I am pretty sure they are proud of you for your hard work that you are doing right now," she exclaimed, putting her water bottle down near her bag against the floor.

if only you knew, i thought. "yeah, you are right," i replied.

"alright, 5 minutes is up, you guys assemble back here," the choreographer said.

"it's okay Sylvana, practice is almost over and we can ll go home so you can celebrate with your best friend," she said, patting my back and walking away.

the clock's legs hit 10:00, meaning that practice was over. I grabbed my stuff and I bid my good-byes with Soji. usually, the practice room is located in the same building (hybe) but since we have to shoot an episode for the survival show, the management team decided it was best to practice at the event. in the not-so dark-street where I am currently walking at, the snowdrops started to pour down. and yes, i finally know—kinda—know my way around here. well, technically only the way to the door, company, and the event. i had to learn to walk back in forth between those places since i do not like relying/depending on the transportation that the company provided since i want to be independent.

i pulled at my phone and scrolled through my parents' facebook account once again. a familiar guy caught my eye. Sawyer? why was he there? well, it only make sense because his family and I's are very close. i mean when i was there, they did not really invite him, so why now? it does not even matter anymore, they look happy and that is all that matters.

i reached the dorm, and i took the elevator to go to where Zoey and I stayed. when i got in, she was not there so I called her.

"where are you?" i asked.