The First Year

Withdraw

Harry lay on his back, staring at the canopy over his bed. The service was going to be at ten that morning. He hadn't slept all night, thinking about it. Hermione had wanted to talk about it, but Harry rebuffed her efforts and had run into the dormitory and crawled into his bed, pulling the curtains closed around it. The universal "do not disturb" sign at Hogwarts.

The service was going to be at ten. Then people would start to leave. To go home. Harry was going to the Burrow with the Weasleys. He honestly wanted to go elsewhere, just so he wouldn't have to face the accusing stares of the others. That it was his fault Fred was gone. He should have been able to do something to prevent it. But as it was, Harry didn't have anywhere else to go. He wondered if the Dursleys had been taken back to their house. He needed to go back and collect the things he'd left there. Yes, think about that... Think about that, so you don't have to think about anything else. Who was it that had responsibility for them? Elphias Doge? No, Dedalus Diggle. Harry wondered if he would be at the service. He could ask Diggle not to bring them back to Surrey until... When? Today was Tuesday. If they could stay away until Thursday. He could leave the Burrow after everyone else was asleep, and go collect his things. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

'Harry?' Hermione's voice floated through the curtains. 'Harry, it's almost time...'

'Harry, mate, you need to get dressed.' Ron's voice joined Hermione's.

Harry reached out with one hand, and yanked the curtains back. He rolled off the bed and stood up. He'd been dressed for hours. Before any of the others had awakened. He just didn't want to go down until he had to. Saying nothing to either of his friends, he strode to the door. Let's get this over with, shall we? Harry made it all the way to the bottom of the staircase that led to Gryffindor Tower, before he stopped. The sounds of people gathered on the sweeping lawn by the Black Lake made him freeze. His stomach churned.

He didn't notice Ron or Hermione on either side of him. 'We'll help you,' she whispered. Harry mutely nodded. Hermione's arm slipped around his waist, while Ron's arm wound around his shoulders.

'Come on, mate, just one step,' Ron muttered. 'Good. One more.'

Little by little they encouraged Harry to a row of seats in the back. Harry dropped into a chair and dumbly gazed around the assemblage. He could see Andromeda Tonks, a carrycot at her feet, and a blanket-wrapped bundle in her arms. Harry's stomach heaved and he bent forward, gasping. He gagged, as if he was about to throw up, but nothing came up. Teddy, he thought miserably. He saw the glitter of the sunshine on the myriad shades of red a few rows forward. Harry squeezed his eyes shut. He could hardly bear to face Ron right now, much less Molly or Arthur. Ginny. He'd seen Ginny between George and Charlie, her hair tamed into a severe plait.

Taking several deep breaths, Harry opened his eyes. The same bloody wizard who had done Dumbledore's funeral was speaking. They were several feet away from Dumbledore's tomb. Harry was vaguely pleased to note that the repairs he had done on the tomb last night were seamless. The Elder Wand was back in its rightful location.

Harry's eyes raked the people around him. Diggle... Where is he? There he was. Three rows in front of Andromeda. Harry could hear soft sniffles around him, and he realized the names of the dead were being read. He heard Hermione give a shuddering sigh as the name "Remus John Lupin" reached his ears. When the wizard read "Nymphadora Juliet Lupin", a baby's wail pierced the haze enveloping Harry. His head jerked up, and he saw Andromeda gently pat Teddy's back. Teddy's head was visible, and Harry saw the turquoise tuft of hair fade into the sandy brown of his father's. He felt a hand wrap around his and looked down. Hermione was squeezing his hand so hard; Harry thought she might be grinding the bones of his hand together.