Dearly Detested: Grooms in Hate

Got a secret, Can you keep it?

Lan Jingyi was bored. Approaching his teens at a rapid pace, he was an outstanding example - an outstanding example of how NOT to be a Lan.

He had begun his life by being one of the loudest babies to be born to the main branch of the Lan Clan, and as he grew up he wasn’t exactly the role model Lan he should have been. Maybe it was because of his father’s mischievous temperament or his mother’s overly patient and sweet nature, Lan Jingyi was breaking rules left, right and center.

Then came Lan Sizhui. He was four years old when the elders made him play with the latter, in hopes that Sizhui’s calm temperament would rub off on Jingyi. It did not. Lan Jingyi continued to be a brat, with the exception that he was engaged while he played with Sizhui and therefore couldn't make much trouble.

As they were growing up Lan Jingyi was under the impression that Hanguang Jun was Sizhui’s father. Sometimes, little Sizhui’s tongue would slip when he spoke about Hanguang Jun, calling him A-Die. Other times, he would call him Hanguang Jun in a formal way.

Jingyi had also seen how Hanguang Jun and Sizhui often left together at night, Sizhui carrying along some or the other trinket which he hid in Hanguang Jun’s Qiankun pouch. Irrespective of the size of the trinket, it would fit right in. Jingyi was very fascinated by the pouch, while also being extremely curious about where the two went every night.

But that wasn’t even all of it: Hanguang Jun and Sizhui always returned before the break of dawn, as if they were thieves or spies. What was it that they were hiding? Where did they go every night? He was so curious that he almost asked Sizhui, but upon realizing how guarded he was about the topic, he kept quiet.

However, there came a point where he couldn’t hold his curiosity anymore. He had just turned eleven that year, and he heard from his parents that Hanguang Jun was getting married to the Yiling Patriarch. By now he knew almost everything about Sizhui, including the fact that Hanguang Jun was his adoptive father. But still he had not found an explanation about the late night rendezvous he had seen so often, what they meant and where the two were going. Not knowing bugged him immensely and robbed him of his sleep regularly, trying to think of scenarios and reasons for this secretive behaviour. 

Finally, tonight, Jingyi was going to solve this mystery! He snuck away from his house under the cover of the night, carefully avoiding the traps and alarm talismans his father had laid out for him (if not for those, Lan Jingyi would have solved this mystery a long time ago). He found his way to the Jingshi and, while no one was looking, he jumped into Hanguang Jun’s Qiankun bag.

It was a weird feeling, as if he was floating in nothing. Around him were sets of clothes, some jewels, a few books, money, and some carrots. There were also talismans and a bouquet of flowers? He was unsure about this strange collection, but he supposed that the weirdest item of the collection right now was an eleven year old boy who had snuck into said bag, therefore leaving him no room to judge.

Soon, he could feel the entire space shake. They were finally on the move. His heart started to pound even more, excitement flooding him of finally revealing this secret. But he had to wait and be patient, until they reached their destiny. 

The whole trip was more or less silent, save for the conversations between Sizhui and Hanguang Jun. They seemed to be talking about all kinds of things, from cultivation to pet rabbits to Hanguang Jun’s upcoming marriage. Though Hanguang Jun didn’t generally talk much, he seemed to enjoy talking to the young boy and spoke to him kindly. Jingyi was a little jealous of Sizhui, for being able to talk to the most important man of the Cultivation World and Jingyi’s idol so carefree. Every time Lan Jingyi spoke to Hanguang Jun, he would freeze up and forget how to talk properly, stammering and stuttering around nervously, never being able to show his intellect and cleverness.

With the calm lull of voices outside and the rhythmic swaying of the bag, Lan Jingyi fell asleep. He dreamt of having a proper conversation with the great Hanguang Jun and of making his parents proud by killing a dragon and of… Sizhui? But they were hugging? And Sizhui was looking so pretty? Jingyi chose not to dwell upon that, and enjoyed crushing his shorter friend in a bear hug.

All good things must end though, and Lan Jingyi woke up to an utter silence. Literally. The absence of sound scared him terribly. Holding his breath, that seemed too loud in this silence, he quickly found the opening of the bag and jumped out. He now was in a dark cupboard. Just a little bit of light came through the door cracks, showing him that in this cupboard were Hanguang Jun’s outer robes and sword. But wait, wasn’t it unsafe for the Chief Cultivator to be without a weapon? Shouldn't he have it by his side at all times? 

Now that he was out of the bag, he realized that he could also hear the sounds outside the cupboard. Muffled ghostly howling and wailing sent shivers down his spine and rooted him in the cupboard for a bit longer. Did Hanguang Jun exorcise spirits with Sizhui every night? It was strange and it made no sense. Lan Jingyi decided that his stint was up, so he breathed in deep to steel himself and then slowly pushed open the door of the cupboard to step out.

He found himself in a dimly lit cave with sparse furnishing and a huge bed in the middle, which was surprisingly luxurious for its surroundings. Two figures were on the bed, intertwined. They seemed to be.. kissing?! One of them was only wearing his innermost robe, half laying, half sitting on the bed, grabbing and pulling the other person's collar, who looked suspiciously like Hanguang Jun, kneeling on the bed over the other. Hanguang Jun's hair was surprisingly in disarray and hid both men's faces. A low soft sigh was heard, when their bodies pressed together even more, the two completely unaware of Jingyi standing there, blushing furiously. 

Lan Jingyi let out an audible gasp, before he could slap his hands in front of his mouth to silence himself. Had he just caught the Chief Cultivator having an affair? His head reeled as he thought about the Yiling Laozu getting cheated on by the most loyal man of their Clan. Maybe the marriage pressure got to Hanguang Jun? After all, being married off to a serial killer wasn’t easy. In that split second, Lan Jingyi decided to keep his mouth shut about this forever. He even pitied Hanguang Jun a little.

Meanwhile, the two men on the bed had heard the teen’s gasp, whirled around and, seeing him, they hurried to close and straighten their clothes. Hanguang Jun was calm, yet fast, the other man however kept cursing and yelping while struggling to collect himself.

Hanguang Jun sat up straight, asking sternly, “Lan Jingyi. How did you get here?”

As Lan Jingyi sweated nervously, he spoke, “H-Hanguang Jun, I’m so s-sorry! I j-just wanted to see where you and Sizhui g-go every night!”

The other man suddenly jumped up from the bed and walked up to him leisurely, and with a pleasant smile, his hair disheveled and robes still hanging a bit loosely. “A little Lan? Is he a relative of yours, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn. Cousin’s son. Sizhui’s best friend.”

The pretty man laughed, while looking down on him. “A mischievous Lan! How sweet! How did you manage to come here, little one?”

Lan Jingyi was momentarily stunned by the person speaking to him. “Um, Qiankun-”

“Ingenious! Did you really manage to fit inside the bag? How did you do it? Can you show me?” Then, smirking and with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, he looked towards Hanguang Jun and smiled coyly. “Maybe you could carry me with you sometime?”

Lan Jingyi ignored the man for a moment, looking straight at Hanguang Jun, “Sir, I promise I will never let anyone know what happened here, especially the Yiling Patriarch. You have the Lan word of honor.”

The pretty man frowned playfully. “That would be a problem, little one."

“Um, why?"

“Because I am the Yiling Patriarch."

 ***