Crumble • lrh {Insanity book 2}

seventeen

This is short but v important.

I actually cried while writing this but it's shit so.

pls vote xxxx love yall

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~•Thursday•~

"God, I'm so nervous for tomorrow." Calum groans for the 5th time, getting out of my car and heading up to my door.

"Me too." I say honestly, pulling out my keys and getting out as well to follow him. With all the thoughts and planning and initial worry I'm starting to lose track of my filter.

He frowns. "Why are you nervous?"

Oh, shit, right.

"Oh, um, I'm just nervous for you guys." I say awkwardly, not meeting his eyes while I unlock the house and walk inside.

"Well, you probably should be. We're expecting about 500 people. I'm terrified." He shivers, closing the door behind us.

"I thought it was 300?" I ask, setting my backpack on the table and grabbing water from the fridge. I force myself to not focus on the plan right now, because of I do I will most likely start freaking out and Cal will be confused.

I've decided that there really isn't a way that I can push Calum away. I've known him for way too long, and he doesn't understand about what happened anyways, so hurting him is kind of inevitable. Unless, he sees the whole thing as an accident caused by my 'deranged mind' when my body is found in the basement of the asylum. (if Carlisle even leaves me my body). I'm pretty sure he'll assume the latter.

"We did too. But then more and more people just started to pile on the comments on Facebook and now I'm afraid I'll throw up all over the stage." He grimaces, throwing his stuff down on the kitchen table as well. "Oh, by the way, I'm staying here tonight."

I quirk an eyebrow, though in actually kind of glad he's staying. I need as much Calum time as I can get because there's a 99.999999% chance I'll be dead by tomorrow. "Why? I thought you guys would be practicing your asses off."

He scoffs, plopping down in a chair and pulling out his phone. "Nah, we spent 5 hours practicing last night so I couldn't go to my movie, and we've decided to take a rest because it's the night before. We wanna be good for tomorrow."

"Ok." I chuckle, not bothering to ask questions. It's Calum logic.

I drink my water and eat a few things, before slapping Calum on the back of the head on my way past him to get up the stairs so he'll get off his phone. There's a huge end-of-course history exam tomorrow that we need to study for. Not to mention that I need to get my mind off a few things.

He follows me up the stairs with our bags, setting them down on my bed and pulling out the necessary books we'll need. We get right to it, falling into a routine we've been doing for years, and it makes me realize just how bad it is going to hurt when I leave.

That's all that's really on my mind right now, as much as I try to deny it. Calum's reading off names and I'm telling what they mean mindlessly, my mind a thousand miles away from where he thinks it is because no matter what I get on that test tomorrow, it's not going to matter. Because I'll be dead by midnight. I hate this. I hate this so much. I have to leave everything and push everybody away because of some stupid doctor.

"Mack." Calum's voice snaps me out of my daze. "Do you want me to go get it?"

I blink. "What?"

"The doorbell. Do you want me to get it?"