Kanzaki Aoi

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When you are away

❀ word count: 1098

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 There are some fortunate people on this planet. Those, whose life runs smoothly like a gentle river in a forest, nothing can ever disrupt its course or change it. A path made by fate, created by something even greater than the Gods.
To be born lucky, such an unrealistic dream.

One begins life crying and sobbing louder than everything, a cry of despair that only a child can make. Hopeless and confused, that is. So, how and why is it that people, whose life begins the same way as those fortunate ones, can be so different, so miserable, to wish for death above all else?
A mystery one cannot comprehend, no matter how much you wrap your mind around it, like a pointless loop of thoughts that hurts your brain, the longer you force yourself to think about it.

"Kanzaki-san, I'm sorry! Once again I've been careless!" you exclaim.

It was usual, something so casual that no longer made it odd at all. It had a familiar feeling to it, a ring that echoed through her mind. How many times had she heard those familiar words leave your lips? She managed to scold you each time, but it didn't have a drop of anger.
It was fear, that notion you have, when you know you can lose something so quickly. She always lived in fear, after all, she had an unfortunate upbringing. Seeing the ones you care for leave you so soon.

'I wanted to go first, I had to go first', a thought so present. 'Weak, why so weak?', you wonder, day after day, but there isn't an answer. Of course, the Gods won't stop to reply to your pitiful feelings. Time waits for no one, the Gods do not mind your questions, you must find them yourself. After all, that is what life is all about, to find an answer.

She stared at that bed many times, where the blankets rose and fell gently, as you breathed calmly after being taken care of. She was afraid to lose you as well, more than she wanted. 
The person she admired. Someone who, unlike her, had been brave enough to pursue the path of ending demon's lives, while protecting the weak. What more could she possibly do to thank you, she wondered. If it was possible, she'd give you everything.

"Thank you, Kanzaki-san." you said.

"Aoi. You can call me...Aoi." she whispered under her breath.

That smile was gorgeous. Could you smile a little longer? She wished she had a camera to record this moment, engrave it forever and keep it at close distance. One day, she'd show it to your loved ones, to your descendants, and you'd laugh at the times when you were too reckless for your own good.
It was a good fantasy, she'd imagine it countless times. If things came to an end, and you could live together in peace, be the family neither of you had. Hell, you'd make your own family! 

"The weather looks nice today. I wonder how many more days I have left." you mumbled one day.

It was depressing to even be around, when you finally came down from your own delusional thoughts - those of a dying person who clung onto anything to make sure they don't leave just yet.
Aoi sat down that day, next to your bed, when you faced her very seriously. You had an unreadable expression, a gaze that gave chills to even the scariest of beasts.
Was the room always so small? The air felt thick and pressuring against her shoulder, she tried to speak but held on to her clothes in her lap instead, and listened.

You babbled the worst nonsense. She hated every second of it. Every word, every pause, every gaze. She hated even more the fact she had to hold her cries of despair.
She felt like a baby. Perhaps she was one, an overgrown baby that could do nothing to save those around her. Even someone as close as you. Damn, you were merely centimeters away from her! She could hold you, she could touch you!

You told her your own fantasy. That was a few weeks before the news of your death came. You hadn't made it to the final battle, that only came a few months later.
You told her how you wished to grow older. Be with her and have a family of your own, perhaps take care of the three little orphans, as to ease some work for poor Shinobu.
You'd get married under a cherry blossom, and laugh all day while telling silly stories about your first meeting - when she yelled until you fell asleep.

That dream was crushed, and both of you knew it. Perhaps it was just how pathetic the human kind was, to hold onto pointless dreams, even when you know the outcome.
It was saddening, but she didn't cry right away.

When the day came, when demons were vanished forever, and peace was established again, she visited your grave. It was painful, more than anything one can describe. The tears burned her eyes, and she finally gave in.
Like a baby, once more. In the end, it all comes to the same as it starts - fragile, confused, hopeless.
Kiyo held onto her side as she collapsed, while Naho and Sumi held each other and cried together.

Some people are born unfortunate, without a chance to lead a normal life. It's like a river, but if this river is every disrupted, it can never go back to the same as before. The damage will be permanent, and one cannot change it, it's only natural.
You had both led unfortunate lives, but even so, you chose to smile. Instead of sulking forever because you were bound to die, you chose to stand up for what is right, and fight for it, protect others, even if it meant dying in their place.

When she stood, she saw your name once again. That's right, you weren't coming back ever again, but even if the river of life was disrupted, one must adapt to the change, acknowledge and accept.
She smiled, and she prayed that your soul was safe. One day, she hoped to join you, but now, it was time to go home.

"Aoi-chan, when I'm reborn, I'll make sure...no matter where we are, when or how...I will definitely marry you, and we'll have a normal life." 











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A/N: I am deeply sorry for taking so long to post. School was taking a toll on me and now I am studying for my exam. I do hope that these two imagines make up for it, and hopefully after the exam is over I'll be able to post more frequently.
Enjoy your reading! <3

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