Bits of Chemistry | ✓

Kabanata 28

"You're a horrible person who only lives to be a complete shit," sabi ko sa kan'ya. "He didn't want that. Just because he's a man doesn't mean he can't get hurt. It doesn't automatically mean that permission is always granted because of his gender."

Girls are often victim-blamed for being assaulted. Yet, it was even worse for some men because people think they can't get assaulted. Pinahid ko ang ilang luha na lumabas sa aking mata. My mom, Etienne and a lot of people buried their deepest scars because most tend to think they cause it themselves. We live in a society where we get hurt but people think it was our fault — for thinking that we are hurt and bruised.

Tito Cruz shrugged off. "Dear, aren't you too focused on your role? I wonder what Etienne offers to you? Compared to him, CL is a better man. Someone who doesn't have a past."

"I wonder if someone could even love a horrible person like you," I sneered. "Hindi mo maiintindihan ang isang bagay na kahit kailan ay hindi maibibigay sa 'yo. Walang magmamahal sa 'yo sa paraang hindi titingnan ang nakaraan mo o mga sugat mo noon dahil hindi ka gano'n. If you only love a person in their best, then you're the worst."

Nagtaas lang ng kilay si Cruz. I turned my back at him and went back to Etienne.

"Don't mistake pity for love, dear!" Halakhak n'ya pa sa akin. Halatang nangaasar. I secretly raise my middle finger at him.

Pagod na akong umintindi ng mga taong hindi naman ako iniintindi.

Believe me when I tell you that in this world if there's hay, people would still opt to find a needle in it. People would still ransack your good deeds in order to find something to use against you. Yet, they never did that to themselves. Kaya ka nilang siraan dahil sira na rin sila.

Dalawa lang naman ang klase ng tao sa mundo. Ang hinahanap ang mali sa sarili at ang naghahanap ng mali sa kapwa. And it is honestly frustrating that even if you don't do anything, the world is too eager to find faults in you. Kahit estranghero ka lang sa kanila. Kahit hindi ka nila lubusang kilala. Hahanapan ka nila ng butas.

Natigilan lang ako maglakad nang makita na naguusap si Etienne at CL. Etienne was gritting his teeth, nagpipigil ng luha. My heart hammered against my chest. My boy. . .

"Etienne, calm down."

"You told me you weren't interested anymore! Bakit ka pa ba bumalik?" Etienne asked CL, namamaos ang boses.

"Calm down. . ." Napapikit si CL at hinawakan ang kan'yang sintido. "Nothing's between us. I swear, Etienne. Ngayon lang ulit kami nagusap."

"Caer. . . I rarely ask anyone in any way. . ." Etienne sounded weak and defeated. "Please let me have Lavender. . . She's the o-only person that understands me."

"Etienne. . ." CL sighed. "Mahal ka ni Solstice. . ."

Hindi sumagot si Etienne. His eyes darted in my direction. Agad itong pumungay. I went towards him and looked at CL.

"We have to go, pakisabi na lang na nilagnat ako o di kaya nabangga ako ng sampung truck."

"Solstice!" CL widened his eyes. "Your words. . ."

I chuckled dryly. "Kaya mo na 'yon. Just make up an excuse. Mauuna na kami ni Etienne."

Hinawakan ko sa kamay si Etienne. I squeezed it gently when it felt cold. Nanginginig siya at halatang balisa. His gray eyes were slowly forming storms in them. Lalong dumidilim habang papalayo kami nang papalayo.

He was about to open the driver's seat when I stopped him. Naglahad ako ng kamay sa kan'yang harapan. His eyes dropped at my hands.

"I'll drive."