Amen (discontinued)

Normal

Sals pov:
Travis raced out of the bathroom, leaving me alone. I was a little upset that I wasn't going to get to finish, but I got what I needed. I don't think he'll be beating me up anymore after I the condition he left in. I made sure to mark his neck, I wanted evidence of our little encounter. If I got my ass kicked by him again, I'd be sure to tell people exactly where they were from. Sure, everyone in this school thought i was weird for "parading around in a mask", but they knew I wasn't a liar. Plus, if it's my word against the word of the kid who "coincidentally" gets a boner at every boys basketball game, I feel like it's obvious.

I pulled on my mask, tried to make my hair look like I hadn't just almost jerked a guy off on the worlds crustiest floor, and left the bathroom. Larry was gonna flip out when I told him about this.

Travis's pov:

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
That's all I could repeat in my head on the snowy walk home from school.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
The words lined up with sound of my shoes crunching into the white sidewalk.

How could I be so stupid? So sinful? I swore to wait til marriage. And I swore I would never want to do anything with a guy. I can't believe myself, falling for sal fisher's bullshit. All he did was touch me and I melted. I barely gave it a second thought when asked if he could-

My heart fluttered as i thought about sal, arms around my neck, wanting to... wanting me. I hated how much I liked the thought of him thinking about me like that.

No. I don't. Gross. Why would I like that? I'm not gay. I can't be gay. I can't be. You know what my father would do if he ever found out? You know what? It doesn't matter because I'm not gay. I just.. I-

I only liked it because sal looks like a chick. His hair too long, his eyes are too blue and pretty and he's short. With his mask on you can't even tell what he is. It's not my fault he doesn't know his gender. I just fell victim to normal, sexual temptation, not like.. gay... temptation. I'm not an abomination. And plus I stopped it before anything really bad happened. I should be proud for resisting the devil, not ashamed. Sin is human. If we didn't sin, we would be god, and we're meant to serve. We're supposed to be imperfect. I just need to pray on it, and ask god for forgiveness, just like any other sin. I'm not a faggot. I'm just a straight teenaged boy. This is normal.

I was at my doorstep. I usually walked to the church after school to do homework cause dads there until 6:00, but I had a lot on my mind and sitting under a crucifix for 2 hours didn't seem ideal. I just wanted to say a prayer and go to bed. I know it was like 4:00 but another minute alone with my thoughts sounded like hell on earth.

I dug the key out from under the snowy doormat, got up to my room, set down my shoes and my bag, and set my alarm for 5:30pm, 30 minutes before dad'll get here.

Algebra could wait til then.