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❝we lived a life of almost.❞
DALLAS WINSTON'S days were composed of the most beautiful color pallet one would have ever seen. He had a wide variety of colors available to him in Oklahoma, far different from the disappointing black and white shades of New York, and for once in his lifetime, he felt as though he could properly love the life he was given. The colors most used from his pallet were a grayish-green, a chocolate brown, an ashy blonde color he created from mixing white and brown together, and random colors from the world around him. The two colors he adored most, however, were an icy blue and a fiery red, in which he saw the most beauty in anything he had ever seen in his entire life.
Dallas was lying on the wooden floor of his bedroom, a number of beer bottles and cigarettes littered on the floor around him. Rain was tapping on his window, which the boy found comforting in an odd way. He didn't usually like the rain, but at least now he knew that the flowers that the gang had planted on Logan's grave were being watered. Sometimes he thought the rain could be Logan herself... all of her tears that she had saved up when she was there with him and the boys were spilling out, and she was finally free. Suddenly, a crack of lightning illuminated the darkness of the boy's room, and from the corner of his eye he could see the shimmer of a dark red color.
Dallas slowly looked over to the desk on which a pair of sweatpants was lying, all neatly folded up with a piece of paper taped on top of it. The now 18 year old had avoided those sweatpants and the note for months, but he got up from the floor and carefully walked over broken glass from some smashed beer bottles to sit down at the desk. Once he reached the desk, he turned on the dim light next to him and the color red was illuminated once again. He knew what it was. The blood from the day of Logan's accident with Socs was still stained on his sweatpants that she was wearing, and although she was adamant on washing them multiple times, the blood never fully came out. On top of the sweatpants was a folded up piece of paper, but Dally already knew what it said.
"sorry about the blood, dal. love you lots." - l.c.
He knew he should've turned off the light and stopped there, but he didn't. With tears swelling up in his eyes, Dallas Winston reached into the left pocket of the sweatpants, and his hand encountered a cold, imprinted metal. His Christopher necklace. Logan had secretly returned it to him the night before everything all went down. Slowly and steadily, he pulled the piece of jewelry out of the pocket.
The boy took one look at the necklace before simply muttering, "Fuck you, Logan."
He knew he didn't mean what he said, but he couldn't stop himself. His voice raised and he began to shout, "Fuck you! I wish I had never even met you! You didn't deserve me!" before he broke down into tears.
Dallas Winston collapsed onto the floor, dropping the necklace onto the ground next to him. He didn't mean it. It was the grief, the confliction in his heart over what to think and believe, that made him do it, "Holy fuck, Log. Holy shit," the boy reached up to grab the sweatpants and pulled them into his arms, clutching onto the piece of clothing for dear life. For the first time in months, he was taken back to the last day he was able to hold Logan Faye Curtis in his arms, "I miss you like hell. I just want you back here with me. Please come back. I can't do it without you."
For the first time in five months, Dallas Winston had broken into tears over his love, "I remember our last day together. We spent it lying in the lot, looking up at the stars, and I was counting your freckles. God, I always loved counting your freckles. I would try and try and try but I could never seem to finish counting. But as you laid there in my arms, I counted all of them, every single one. I still wish there was just one more to count. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, my favorite girl in the entire world. I guess now I've noticed that I didn't get to spend the rest of my life with you, but you got to spend the rest of your life with me. I love you, Logan Faye Curtis. So much."
The truth is, Dallas Winston did - does - love Logan Curtis. He loved her in many ways, and the fact is that the blue-eyed boy could've loved her in an infinite number of ways, but really, he could've never loved her in a way that was enough to make her stay.
a/n; okay so i haven't written anything in almost two years, so i'm super rusty with writing and all that stuff. however, many people were commenting asking how dally was after the last chapters and some people even messaged me asking me to write something about how he was dealing with it. tonight i finally decided to do it. it's unedited and was written at 1 am but i hope it's okay!
