Books & Novels

Chapter Four - What do you call an Epic Suckage?

"Jamie Denesier. I will murder you after I tear out your balls with scissors."

"Isn't tearing out my balls with scissors the same thing as murdering me...?"

"God, s**tcake, why can't you be less practical?"

"S**tcake?"

"My new nickname. Now, I've got to go to see Principal Watens because of you. Now, go p**s off, smart***."

Then Autumn left Jamie standing in the hall, during lunch.

Jamie sighed and then turned around but bumped into Super Speedy.

Well, that was his nickname for her, anyways. Andrea Kalisso, he thought. Curly dark hair, pale skin, large brown eyes that always looked like they had had too much caffiene. Kind of short, too.

"Listen, you're James, right?" Andrea said. Wow. She looked and sounded like she stopped growing in eighth grade. Jamie decided to keep that thought to himself. She reminded him of one of those birds...sparrows. Maybe it was due to her coffee drinking, because you felt like she would take off any second, in a flurry of brownish feathers.

"No.... but I think there's a guy named James in ...."

"No... Jackson!" She smiled apologetically.

"Sorry.....dunno anybody named Jackson."

"Augh! Jamie?'

"Yes."

"Ok. Can you fix phones?"

Jamie looked to the side, as if someone was watching their conversation. It was true, he loved to fix stuff. Anything and everything. He liked learning how stuffed worked. It made sense, always fixing the damage that his sisters caused.

"Yeah... sort of..."

"Ok. Old phones?"

Jamie's brow furrowed. Old phones as in those phones you saw in the black and white movies. Yeah, they seemed simple enough.

"Yeah, simple enough."

Andrea eyes light up and a smile spread wide on her face. "Oh my gosh, thanks so much. Thank you, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! This means so much to me, you have no idea, thank you so much, I....." Andrea's excited babble ended for a second, fading away into silence. It took Jamie a few seconds that the noise of the loud high school hall had dimmed.

Then he realized why it dimmed, and he didn't like why.

Kyle Gander. Molly Fernelle. Lots of gross kissing. Making out, actually. Andrea looked like she was mentally shuddering, but Jamie excused the fact that he actually was.

Then Jamie did the most stupid thing ever, and everybody could hear him in the silent hall.

"Um... you guys should stop, in case a teacher sees you." Echo....echo....echo....

Molly turned, to see a very frightened Jamie, and then Kyle nearly got a mouthful of her hair.

Like a sparrow, Andrea darted down the hall. Thinking of nothing better to do, Jamie bolted after and the scene behind him began again. Ew, ew, gross. Silently making a gag face, Jamie followed the dark-haired caffienated bird into the cafeteria.

"Holy crap," Jamie scrunched up his face when he got through the doors. "That was.. was... so stupid..."

Andrea facepalmed. "You're telling me."

"Gee, so encouraging."

"Wait, why did you follow me?" Andrea's eyes widened. Which kind of made her look like she had had double the caffeine...she had had.