Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

EPILOGUE

She looked like Ica. A lot. I have a reminder of her, which I'm thankful for. Our baby.

She crawled on my lap when she noticed I have no plans on carrying her. "I missed you, Da..." Pronouncing the words were still quiet hard for her. "Sleepy Kie."

Sinilip ko siya at nakitang pumikit siya habang niyayakap ako, binabaliwala ang box na hawak niya. Nakita ko si Ares na nakasandal sa railing ng hagdan.

"Noong isang araw pa siya nakakasalita," balita niya, nakangiti. "Kanina pa iyan inaantok pero gustong ikaw magpatulog sa kaniya. Umiyak na nga kaya dinala ko na lang dito sa taas. Sorry. Alam ko naman gusto mong mapag-isa."

Sinuklian ko siya ng tipid na ngiti bago sinilip si Kie. Ang himbing na agad ng tulog niya sa dibdib ko, mukhang kanina pa talaga inaantok. Napahinga ako nang malalim.

Bakit ko ba nakalimutan na may nakasandal sa 'kin? Even when it's hard for me and I just want to sulk all day long, I shouldn't. I couldn't be weak. I needed to stay strong for my daughter. I have to keep going for her. Ica won't be happy to know about this.

"I love you. Sleep tight." I kissed Kie's cheek when I placed her on the bed.

Sinubukan kong kumain ng hinandang pagkain ni Mama sa 'kin. Ilang subo lang ang kinaya ko at napagdesisyonan na lang uminom ng gatas para makatulog. I also drank lots of water before going back to the room.

Naupo ako sa tapat ng vanity table. Naroon pa rin lahat ng gamit ni Ica. Pinakialaman ko ang mga iyon. Kung nandito iyon, nasampal na ako noon dahil ayaw niya kapag ginugulo ko ang gamit niya. Akala mo naman hindi siya makalat.

I saw a small flash drive with my name on one of her jewelry box. Hindi ako nagdalawang-isip na kunin iyon at isaksak sa laptop ko. Alam ko... Alam ko na kaagad ang laman noon.

Hindi pa rin pala ubos ang luha ko. It... was a recent video. Naalala ko pa iyon. Iyong sa guest room... 'To pala ang ginawa niya?

"Please leave lavender roses on top of my coffin before I finally part ways with you. I may be gone, but my love for you will live on... in every universe, in every lifetime." She smiled beautifully with pain. "I'll watch you from above. I will never not love you, my Beau."

Noong libing na niya... pumunta na ako. Lavender roses. I have to give her that. I want to give her that.

Kie wore a black dress with a light lavender headband. I dressed myself in all black, wearing the watch she gave me and my ring. The wedding ring we were both supposed to have... but only mine to keep.

I was shocked to see Ica's family stride in the cemetery the same time I did, with poker faces on. Nakilala ko kaagad ang nanay niya dahil kamukha niya 'to. Ang mga kapatid niya naman ay diretsong naupo at nag-cellphone, hindi interesadong makilamay.

Napaawang ang labi ko, hindi-makapaniwala. Wala... Wala talaga silang pakialam? Nawalan sila ng kapatid... pero baliwala lang sa kanila?

"Condolence." Lumapit ang nanay ni Ica sa 'kin, nakataas ang isang kilay.

Hindi ako nagsalita pero hindi rin ako umalis sa tapat niya. Seryosong tininingnan ko lang siya. A sudden wave of anger began growing inside me when there was no inch of mourning on her face. I bit my tongue to avoid speaking. Sobrang pagod pa naman ako. I won't regret bad-mouthing her straight to the face. I didn't want that. Ica won't be proud.

"Quin." Sasy immediately gave me a side hug when she saw me. I hugged her back. "Pinadalhan kita kanina ng food. Kinain mo ba?" she asked, hopeful.

"Oo. Salamat." I gave her a sincere smile.