Chapter 12

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It's been roughly almost a month since Emerson and Lucas became friends, the weeks have been repetitive. Both of them hung out after school and for the Thanksgiving break, they even hung out during the weekends.

Today after school, Emerson has come up with an idea for fun, since he figured Lucas could use a break from coming up with ideas. He was excited if he was being honest.

Mainly because he was hanging out with Lucas, they've gotten closer as friends, their bond getting stronger the more they hang out. Emerson was even starting to consider Lucas his best friend.

Technically his only friend, but still!

Emerson was already changed, he was rushing out the door, Lucas was already there waiting for him inside the car.

"Hey," Emerson said, once he was inside the car. "Hi, sugar" Lucas said with a smile as he started driving.

Emerson rolled his eyes at the nickname, he wouldn't admit it, he's grown to like it, more than he would like.

"You've been coming up with ideas, I figured it was about time, I come up with one," Emerson said, and Lucas nodded, signaling Emerson to say the idea.

"Ice skating, it seems like a good idea since it's almost December," He said, causing Lucas's eyes to widen. "Wow, I didn't think you had it in you to come up with an actual fun idea"

"I'm not that boring" Emerson grumbled. "'Course not" Lucas teased.

"We can go at four, so after school, we can change and buy food before we go to the ice skating rink," Emerson said and Lucas nodded, another smile tugging at his lips.

"Don't you ever get tired of smiling?" Emerson asked, receiving a headshake from Lucas. "How can I not smile when I'm around you," Lucas said, sparing a second glance at Emerson before returning his gaze to the road.

Emerson's cheek became a light shade of red, feeling his heartbeat increase, his eyebrows furrowed wondering why out of nowhere he was feeling this way when he hadn't before.

He was glad Lucas couldn't see him blushing, Lucas would never let him live it down.

"Stop smiling so much, makes me want to vomit over how happy you are" Emerson mumbled, clearly lying which Lucas could tell.

"I'll get you smiling one day sugar, just you wait. You'll be smiling so hard, your cheeks will hurt" Lucas promised, Emerson didn't doubt in his mind that Lucas would be able to achieve this. It terrified him.

"Sure you will Lucas."

- -

Emerson kept looking at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring. His next class had Lucas in it, and he couldn't wait to see him.

What?

Emerson's eyes widened, why was he thinking like that? Why was his heartbeat suddenly increasing at the sight of Lucas, even the thought of him?

Emerson took his phone out, going on Google, sure it might seem utterly stupid but didn't Google have all the answers?

He searched up "can an aromantic person develop a crush?" He read what it said. Only to a limited degree. What did that even mean?

Doing further research, he came across the spectrum of aromantic. Looking through all the meanings, trying to find one that suited him the best.

Demi romantic

Briefly reading it, it appealed to him. Seeing as this fitted him best, he did more research.

Not experience romantic attraction, until they've formed a deep emotional bond.

He felt a strong bond with Lucas, he didn't think of him romantically until they genuinely got to know each other and their friendship became stronger. Demi romantic seemed right.

A small smile cams across Emerson's face, something that rarely happened. He felt better. He read about demisexuality, not knowing if he still felt sexually attracted to Lucas.

Emerson turned off his phone, realizing he had feelings, he had actual feelings for Lucas, but who wouldn't?

Realizing how amazingly perfect Lucas is, how pretty he is. How caring, and stupidly charming. This new feeling was odd but he liked it.

Besides, Emerson was sure Lucas liked him, he had for a while but he didn't want to risk it, not with their friendship being at the line.

He was good at keeping his feelings hidden, he wouldn't be difficult to hide his feelings, until the end of their senior year, since they'll be going their separate ways after that.

The bell finally rang, he put his stuff away and headed to his next class, heart racing at the thought of seeing Lucas.

This was going to be easy.

- -

He lied.

Did Lucas just automatically get more attractive in the span of a few hours? Throughout the whole class, he had been blatantly staring at the other boy. Unable to focus on the teacher, completely embarrassed when Lucas finally caught him staring.

"You're either planning how to murder me or you're staring at me because I'm unbelievably attractive" Lucas whispered, causing Emerson to blush due to embarrassment.

He muttered a soft, "Shut up" before turning his attention to the teacher. Lucas leaned towards Emerson before whispering "You know, you look indescribably cute when you're embarrassed,"

"I swear, I'm going to shave your hair" Emerson muttered irritably. "Speaking of hair, I'm thinking of trimming it a bit, maybe a mullet? Not exactly a mullet, something less extreme"

"I can cut it for you," Emerson said and Lucas looked at him suspiciously.

"You're not planning on shaving my hair, are you?" Lucas asked cautiously. "I was, but if I cut it, I know I'd regret it."

"I mean my hair is what makes me more attractive," Lucas said and Emerson nodded in agreement. "You basically indirectly flirted with me. I swear you're practically in love with me" Lucas said, feeling hope that just maybe, Emerson reciprocated his feelings.

Meanwhile, Emerson was panicking. He told himself he couldn't be obvious. Agreeing that Lucas was attractive, that was practically saying I'm deeply in love with you.

"I only said that so, you wouldn't get upset, figured I bruised your ego too much there's only so much you can take," Emerson said and Lucas sighed. "Yeah, of course"

As if Emerson could be in love with him, they're too different.

Whoever said the meaning opposites attract, clearing had no idea what they were talking about. Emerson was clearly out of his league.

All Emerson wanted to do was apologize to the boy who was frowning, but he couldn't risk it. He knew Lucas likes him romantically, he was completely sure now. He knew if they got together, Emerson wouldn't be a good boyfriend, hell he's barely even a good friend.

Lucas would start relying on him too much, and Emerson couldn't even rely on his mother, let alone a significant other. Perhaps when Emerson was mentally and emotionally ready, he and Lucas can stand a chance being together.

However, as of now, there was no way they could ever last. If he told Lucas how he felt, they would break up within a month, it was inevitable.

He'd rather wait until he's ready to be in a relationship where they both can rely on each other than suffer an inevitable heartbreak. He just hopes Lucas won't lose feelings or eventually give up on him.

He couldn't bear the thought of Lucas forgetting him. He just wishes if he ever decides to tell Lucas, that Lucas can be patient, perhaps he could tell Lucas his feelings and tell him he's not ready for a relationship, and to be patient with him.

Could he risk it?

It was simple. No, he couldn't.

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