The Love Agenda

sixty-four

I GLANCED at my wristwatch for the umpteenth time now. Of course, he's late. Rafa is the most vain person that I know that even myself will be put to shame at how much time he spends fixing himself. 

Just when I was about to bail on him and just find our seats myself, his familiar figure appeared. He was sporting an all black casual outfit and a white cap. The only thing out of place in his almost-perfect boyfriend attire was his cast. You'd think he was going on a date.

I tried my best to glare at him, scrunching my forehead to show him how pissed I was but I knew that I just looked like an angry cat or a poodle. Whatever.

He laughed while dangling a paper bag in front of me. "Before you get mad at me, bumili pa kasi akong snacks, ma'am. I don't want you to starve while we watch."

I pointed my finger at him, but snatched the paper bag anyway. "Bribery. A welcomed one, though. Still, ang tagal mo. Nagsimula na yata 'yong laro." 

"Nope. I just texted Miguel, wala pa raw. Come on, we need to find our seats." he said and glanced at the gymnasium. 

"Akala ko kasama si Monty?" I glanced around to see if he was with his bespectacled friend. 

Rafa scratched his neck. "Ah, may gagawin daw pala siya. Something about a fair, so he can't come." 

I stared at him, sensing a lie. "You sure?"

"Mags, let's go. Stop looking for Monty because he's busy doing his thing. Tara na."

We entered the gynasium and it was already packed with people for the opening of the tournament. Rafa's team was playing against other schools, but ours was the host for this year's games.

I glanced at Rafa when I saw that he was observing his teammates while they did warm up exercises on the side of the court. It must've been hard not being able to join them because of his accident. 

I clung a hand on his arm and pulled him towards the seats. "It's okay. May next year pa naman and you can join them then." I said, hoping to lift his spirits up.

He looked down at my hand resting on his arm and beamed. "I know. Have you seen Miguel? He's probably with them. I already saw Jass."

Jass was the temporary captain of the team in Rafa's absence, and unbelievably so, he's a man of many talents. I heard he was also a motorcycle racer and a musician on the side. Talk about fostering his hobbies.

Rafa and I walked around to find our seats because even though he was the captain, he could only get his hands on two tickets. No special treatment so it seems. After finding our seats, we sat down and waited for the first game to start. 

"Do you think you'll win this first game?" I asked him, leaning on his side, but careful not to touch his cast.

He popped a caramel popcorn in his mouth and dusted his hands before turning to me. "Yeah. I mean, with Jass at the helm, we have a bigger chance of winning. And, home court advantage, Mags."

"But just because you have an advantage, doesn't guarantee your win."

"True, but I have faith." he said and tipped his canned soda to me.

Just before the game started, Jass and Miguel approached our seats when they saw us. My pulse quickened when Miguel glanced my way first, noticing that Rafa wasn't alone.

To my surprise, he offered a hand. "Hi, I'm Miguel. I met you once before, when I picked him up at his house."

Miguel waited for me to accept his hand and smiled when I did. He was utterly handsome up close, even more so now that he was wearing his jersey.

"Ah, yeah. Ako rin 'yong nasa vet clinic." I gave him an awkward laugh, the heat on my cheeks very evident. Rafa elbowed me as if to say to get my shit together.

Jass interrupted our moment and I need to remind myself to thank him for saving me from an awkward disposition. "How's your arm? 'Wag kang mag-alala, we'll do our best." 

Rafa nodded. "I know. Nakakainggit lang."

"At least you're spending time with—" Jass was cut off by Rafa who stepped on his foot so hard he winced in pain.

Rafa eyed him. "My arm is okay, Jass. Thanks for asking. How are the boys? Pinasasakit ba ulo mo?"

"We're behaving, Cap." Miguel laughed.

Jass turned to him with a frown. "Palagi nga kayong late sa practice. Nag-away pa sina Vince and Jiro nung isang araw. I was about to raise the white flag and drag Rafa out of his house to knock some sense into all of you."

"Lacsamana, umayos kayo." Rafa gave him a playful but stern look.

I knew he wouldn't embarrass him more in front of me because it wasn't his teammates' fault either. The team lost Rafa as their leader, and Jastin was just trying his hardest to lead them in the only way he knew how.

After a while, Jass and Miguel were called back to the court because the ceremony was about to begin.

Before leaving, Miguel turned his attention to me and smiled, his sharp cheekbones accentuated by it. "It was nice to meet you again, Maggie."

"You, too. Good luck on your game."

When Miguel left, Rafa was quiet for a while until I heard him snickered like that asshole he is. "That has got to be the most awkward conversation ever. Mags, what the hell?"

"What? I didn't know what to say! Plus, nakatitig pa kayo ni Jass."

He clicked his tongue. "After the game, I think we can meet them again before we leave. Don't hesitate to start a conversation. Kahit lumayo pa kayo sa amin."

Even though Rafa was talking about Miguel, my mind went far away from the topic. It went on the night he slept at my place, on the night I stayed with him until he was sober enough.

And it was also the night that he hugged me and it felt different. Different and I didn't like what I felt.

"Mags? Are you even listening?" He waved a hand in front of my face and popped popcorn in his mouth.

When I was snapped out of my reverie, I stared at his face. His face that I was so used to seeing smile and frown, and now it was like looking at something precious.

Rafa leaned in close to me, his lips touching my hair. "Kanina ka pa tahimik. Are you really okay? Do you want to go home?"

I caught a whiff of his minty breath and I almost shivered at how close he was. "Yeah, I'm okay. Stop eating all the snacks."

"Sure?"

I nodded and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "Don't mind me."

He narrowed his eyes at me, like he didn't believe me. And yet, I know that I was lying even to myself.

During the whole game, I was distracted by Rafa's presence, by his cheers, his laugh. It was like being in a mental tug of war between wanting to focus my attention on Miguel, and glancing at my best friend.

Whatever I felt for him in that moment, in the silence and comfort of my room, I needed to keep it tucked away from reality.

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