"Boyfrenemies" Vol. 2

five

"you're so sweet!" nichole says smiling.

"so are you, homecoming?" Token asks extending the sunflowers to her. she just nods, takes the sunflowers, and jumps into his arms giving him the biggest hug.

everyone claps and cheers for possibly the best couple that our school has to offer and i stand there as the crowd eventually parts their ways to go to their respective classes.

"finally, goddamn," Cartman says making his way through.

"like you had anywhere to be anyway you're just jealous," i hear Kyle taunt beside him as their group walks to class.

i'm still standing, holding tightly to my binder. i was waiting for craig, he wasn't there during the proposal or in the crowed at all.

where the hell is he?!

i hope he's not in trouble for flipping a teacher off, this would be second time this has happened this month!

i walk up to Nichole and Token, cringing at myself because i didn't want to disturb their time together, but i had to know where the hell my boyfriend is!

"h-hey guys. T-Token, that was super a-adorable," I say sincerely.

"thanks man," he smiles and Nichole giggles.

"n-no problem. do y-you by any m-means know where c-craig is? i haven't s-seen him since this m-morning," i ask.

token's eyes widen, "he's not back yet?"

i stand there confused, "....b-back from where?"

"uh," Token scratches behind his head, "never mind, i'm sure you'll see him soon."

nichole gives Token a questionable look, "token what—"

the bell rings warning students we have about a minute to get to our classes before tardies are handed out.

"well, looks like we'll be going," Token says grabbing Nichole's hands and she looks like she still wants to protest about what just happened but they just walk away.

my anxiety levels SPIKE.

back from where?

where is he?

i don't even have the urge to book it to class, i pull out my phone and look at the last three messages i sent.

he didn't even read them, i guess that makes myself feel a little better so it's not like he's ignoring me?

i text again.

me: where are u?
me: please answer
me: i am worried....

the bell rings and i put my phone in my pockets, hoping for the best as i make my way to class.

CRAIG'S POV

the line that i am standing in couldn't be longer.

i am just asking for coffee, this isn't fucking disney world.

i skipped my classes just to get some coffee for Tweek to make this proposal more cute i guess? and he loves coffee, so this would probably make his day.

but jesus christ this line is long.

i look at the line again, if i stand in this line for any longer than ten minutes i swear to god Tweek might call the cops looking for me because i know he's worried.

i'm not answering him on purpose because god knows he'd mouth me off about skipping class.

everyone in line takes one step forward and i want to scream.

"fuck no," i say getting out of line and walking to the front to find Mr. Tweak taking a customer's order.

"....and can i have a name for this order?" he says not noticing my presence yet.

"richard you know me! it's gerald," kyle's dad exclaims.

"you never know," richard says smiling, "it's tweak coffee protocol. we have to ask every single time."

"yeah yeah," kyle's dad rolls his eyes, annoyed.

i clear my throat, "mr. tweak."

mr. tweak looks at me, eyes widen and a smile plastered on his face, "ohhhh look it's craig. ann! craig is here! EVERYONE, this is my son's homosexual boyfriend, craig!"

the line is filled with aweees and so cutes and i literally face palm, i don't have time for this today.

"mr. tweak," i say desperately, "i need some coffee, i'm asking Tweek to homecoming today and—"

"awwnnnn, are you?" mr. tweek says looking at me endearingly with his hands on his cheeks.

"....yes," i say, "but i need to skip the line so i'm sorry everyone but i have to get back to school."

i was expecting a bunch of people to curse me out but....

"oh go ahead!"

"absolutely!"

"here's a $100!"

dear god this town is a lost cause.

"anything for my future son-in-law," mr. tweak says grabbing a cup, "name?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i think i laughed the most writing this part ahahaha

mr. tweak, in the show, even though he gives his son literal meth — is probably one of my favorite parents in the show?

he's just so funny and the way he talks makes me laugh every time

i am curious, who is y'all's favorite parent in south park? i also love sharon!