TAUGHT

Twenty

I felt his presence beside me and a sob from him. He places his arms around me and caged me in a hug which I didn't find disgusting during this moment of the day. I am so sad and broken from my mother's death and also mad because of him, but all I did in my father's arms was to collapse on it.

"W-Why did she leave us so… early?" My lips quiver too much from crying as my body shakes. "Why did she gave up… just like that?"

"I love your mom, truly." He replies in a cry. "And I am hurt, just as much as you are."

My mom… She's gone.

And the last conversation we had yesterday was about my father. About Donghyuck. About me.

She kept listening to me while I, forgot to even ask her about how and what she's feeling yesterday. I haven't even thought of it. I didn't even asked her if she's alright, without me around, for the past few months that I wasn't at home.  I didn't ask her if she's happy.

I didn't ask her… about her.

Regrets. Sadness. Worries. All of it went straight to my heart and it's making it even more pained, helpless, and drained.

I'm so sorry Mom. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve a son like me. You didn't deserve anything that I made you feel. I regret everything, now that you're gone.

For the second time in my life, I wished that I could turn back time.

"We'll be okay." My father says but I disagree with all my heart.

I'll never be okay without my mom around. I'll never be.

📚

"What now?" I huff while staring right into the ceiling of my room—back in my house with my parents before. It hasn't changed, even a bit but I'm sure my mom kept it clean and organized while I was away.

And the thought of her made me cry again.

"I'm sorry…" I say with genuine and deep regret. "I love you, Mom."

"I'm sure she loves you too."

I turn my head towards the door and found out that my father just opened it and he heard what I said. I snicker to myself and continue staring right into the ceiling.

"Get up."

"You don't need to force me out. I'll leave in a minute." I roll my eyes.

"No." He sighs. "There's… someone downstairs. I bet they're here for you."

"Who?" I furrow my eyebrows but the he shrugs. I sit up and tap myself on my stomach.

"I believe they're your friends."

"I think you should be more specific." I groan but instead of waiting for him to say something, I walked past him and made my way downstairs.

And to my surprise, these persons are the ones I thought about the least. There was Renjun, Jeno… and Donghyuck.

"Hyung…" They all said in a smile. Of all, Donghyuck had the sweetest and prettiest smile.

"Condolence." Jeno says and I had to tap his back and nod.

"Thank you." I reply and took a step right to Renjun and pat his head. "Thank you for coming."

"How are you, hyung?" Renjun asks shyly.

"I'm fine." Although I'm not completely fine and although I admit that I felt better after seeing some of my friends.

I sigh and finally, go to Donghyuck. He was fiddling with his finger while he looks at me in the eyes. I didn't resist the urge to hold him, so now he's encaged my arms and I don't want to let go.