I'm a Villainess, But So What? Fuck Off.

The Novea Family's Baby Prodigy

"Madam?! We heard a loud noise! Are you alright?!" A girl in a maid uniform burst in panting, with her hair in a frizzled mess. After realizing that something was blocking her eyes, she stepped back and looked at me, who was reaching towards the door, and my feet, which were hovering in midair. I expected her to drop dead like the other person did, but instead she just screamed.

"Ahhhhhh!!! Th-the miss is flying!"

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'The Pride of the Novea Family' Was what I was called. I, a three month old baby, was called this. Yes, yes. I am amazing. At three months old, I couldn't walk, but I could fly. At three months old, I couldn't speak, but I could read. I never thought that my Hyperthymesia would carry on to this life too... Hyperthymesia. Meaning that I can recall memories from basically every day of my life with detail. I could memorize anything after one look. Thus, I learned to read the basic language of this kingdom after my third escape from the crib to the main library.

Finally, after three years of reading books on magic and feeding from my mother's breasts (that is really embarrassing, so I'm just gonna... yeah, we are not going to talk about this anymore, moving on...), I was finally three years old. Although all human life forms got their magic at age eleven when they got their blessings at the temple from the goddess, I was a rare case. After all, I already met the goddess (I think...?), and technically my soul is 23 years old now, so...

"Miss, it's time for your swordsmanship class." Maria calmly entered. She was eight years old, five years older than the current me, and right now, she is my personal maid.

"Alright. My thanks for alerting me, Maria." I calmly replied. I stood up and smoothed out the (somewhat crumpled) European styled dress. It was frilly, pink and white, and poofy. If I had to put my thoughts about the dresses here in three words, I would say that it would be 'fuck this shit'.

(Author's Note: Hey guys! Just to clarify, this is not my design. I take no credibility. (BTW: Disregard the blond hair) Thanks!) 

But, whatever. Last time, I wore a tank top and jean shorts around the house, the maids screamed while the male servants blushed profusely. I got a three hour lecture from Mother on etiquette as a noble lady. It eventually led to me getting etiquette classes from the age of two. 'Seriously? Did those men get turned on by a two year old? Ah, those fucking pedos, now I have to take the damned ettiquete class. Urgh.'

I remembered thinking about that in my second etiquette class where I had to practice 'drinking tea.' Cup at a 90 degree angle when setting it down, don't make any sounds, don't blow... TOO MANY FUCKING RULES! Thankfully, after begging my father to attend swordsmanship classes with the accompaniment of two of the duchy knights, swordsmanship class allowed me to wear pants and a shirt, at least. It was my saving grace after being weighed down by those damned floofy dresses.

"Young Lady Alice! Your hand position on your sword is two closed. Open it up and repeat!" Knight Ellingston commanded as I swung my wooden sword towards the wooden pole. My knights looked at me in amazement. I bet they're thinking, 'My lady is so amazing and cool!' or something. Well, yes, I am very cool, and yes, I am utterly and indisputably amazing.

When I first wielded a sword, I found it extremely backbreaking and difficult, even after my hardcore training. But, after realizing that I could use Earth magic to strengthen myself, I immediately exceeded my knights in pure strength. And, with my amazing capabilities, I soon exceeded them in skill too. Ah, Goddess, I knew you loved me. My slightly wavy silver hair paired with dazzling ruby red eyes, I was an angel who descended from heaven. A pure being who cleansed the world of impurities. Well, I am a villainess, but so what.

Oh yeah! I'm a villainess from the book I Shine for You. Ha! Imagine my surprise when I realised that I was the Alice Novea. The one who bullied the heroine and after garnering the love interests' ire, was subjected to death by torture. When I read the book, though, there were a few things I really didn't understand.

'Wait... isn't the villainess a doted on duke's daughter? And she was forgiven for all of her horrible acts before, so why did she die just because of a baron's daughter. Okay, I get that the capture targets have a lot of power, but seriously? Just after they found the villainess bullied the heroine, she was put in prison? I thought the dukedom had more power than that. And, one more thing. Why is the heroine so easygoing with the capture targets that are, like, seven social rings above her? Like, you'd think that she wouldn't be so touchy-feely after being saved by the prince ONCE. And, doesn't she know that the prince has a fiancee? Okay, really. And what of the king? I mean, come on. She's a baron's daughter, so what if she has light magic? Do you ever wonder what might happen to the political discord that will cause?' That was my thought process at the happy ending where the heroine got married to the crown prince.

My mind wandered once again and my lack of concentration caused me to increase my physical strengthening and I ended up breaking the wooden pole by hitting it with the sword. Well... oops.

I could see the instructor's and my knight's eyes goggling at me while I tittered sheepishly and said, "Ummm... my bad?"