Seventeen

Chapter 17

I felt angry about what happened to her. I know any girl would hate it. It's like not thinking about their feelings at all, and just wanting her physically... It would give a 'being used' feel, I think. And anyone would hate that. How can a guy do something like that, if he actually loves the girl? If he actually loves the girl, won't he be willing to wait for her till she is ready and want that?

"Break up with him," I told Arushi. "I don't think he loves you."

She looked at me. "But... How can I so easily break up after, you know... after I have slept with him? I mean, this is not America or any place where things like that are too easy. This is big. Serious... And, I don't know, I would just feel strange to break up after even going to that point. Also, if I break up and later if I get a new relationship, how will I explain to the guy that I am not a virgin? That's unthinkable for me at the moment... So... I will bear with the current one. It's not like he is hurting me in any other way or something..."

I can understand her point. Still, I do feel that Arushi's boyfriend does not love her enough.

"It's not a big deal," Arushi said. "It's just how boys are anyway. All the boys are sex-crazy... All of them. So it doesn't make a change who the guy is. What guarantee is there that if I break up with him and then later find another guy, the next guy will be any different?"

But even then, if it were me, I feel I would break up. I would not want to put up with a guy who will want to sleep with me just because all of his friends are doing the same. Because then, if he does that I would feel that it's not me who is important for him, it's the sex and in that case, he will be okay even if the girl is not me. I won't want a situation like that.

"But you know... " Arushi was saying, "before I actually began a relationship, I had all these idealistic dreams and expectations. I felt it would be the same as it was in movies and books, too sweet and romantic. It was a bit like that first...But then, you know, reality sinks in, and you realize it's life. Not movies and books. All the ideas of romance shatter, you know... I and I realized that that kind of idealistic romance is a childish dream. That we live in the dirty reality of the world..."

True words like this put you in misery. Because we all also like to live in our own ideal imaginations, thinking that life is going to be pretty and beautiful, forgetting the fact that we are living in the real world where anything can go wrong at any time. We are not living according to a pre-written script. Like how Farhan's life changed to darkness in just over a night...

Also, about romance, and dating.... Yeah, I also thought, and still think that it's just going to be sweet throughout. Like eating a dessert, it's going to be enjoyable, sweet and too romantic.

But it seems like it was not. Maybe it was because I am young that I had that expectation that it is just going to be a boulder-less, smooth path, filled with flowers and sweetness. But, actual relationships are not...

I feel it's going to be a lot difficult.

Now I know why romantic movies and books end when the hero heroine become a couple, with a kiss and a tone of 'and they lived happily ever after'. Maybe because they don't want to shatter that image of a lovely romance, by showing the difficulties of being in a relationship...!

Even I did not know before and just thought it was going to be sweet. But now, I felt the bitterness too. I really hated when Arjun kissed me in front of the boys to 'show them'. Felt a bit dirty. I am not his object for him to 'show off'. And that feeling of being treated like an object was really the worst.

"By the way, you have a boyfriend too, right?" Arushi asked changing the topic from her complicated relationship.

"Hm..." I said. I have never told her much about Arjun.