I Dare You To Love Me

Chapter 1

This was it Remus thought to himself, as he buttoned up his freshly ironed shirt. This was the night, he was going to finally, finally kiss his long term crush, his desk partner, best friend and if he were to believe in such things, soul mate. So more than a crush, he was pretty much gone on the boy.

An ideal situation would be a kiss at the end of a date. Maybe after a fancy dinner, or a midnight walk or after going to see a film they'd been dying to see, or even a late night car ride or stuffing their faces at the local diner. Remus' mind wondered and he let himself divulge in the fantasy of holding hands, cuddling on the couch as they marathoned a TV show, soft kisses, gentle touches, intimate moments just between them and, he shook his head trying to focus on the job sat hand before more dirty images entered his mind, he couldn't deal with that at the moment.

He's known Sirius for 9 years, since Remus moved to town with his mother after moving in with his uncle because his father left them. They've been best friends for five years, desk partners for two. Remus didn't know when he fell in love. He just knew it was slow and gradual and hit him like a punch in the gut. With each new thing he found out about Sirius, added to the list of the things he loved about him, but somewhere along the line, that list changed to reason why he was in love with him. He didn't just love Sirius, he liked him, he was one of Remus' favourite people, he was kind and generous, caring and loyal, funny in sudden surprising ways and he made Remus happy. No matter how happy Remus was that Sirius was in his life, it physically hurt him to have Sirius so close but not be able to have him like he wanted. It hurt to hide so much of himself from his best friend, despite the pain it would hurt so much more not to have Sirius in his life at all, he even had to catch his breath at the sudden thought.

So yeah a date would have been ideal, more than ideal but he was certain that was out the realm of possibility. At least this way he would be able to have Sirius for a moment. One moment that was all he wanted. One moment, one kiss and that memory. That one perfect memory would get him through, he was sure of it. Okay, he also knew it would just break his heart, probably shatter it, but at least when he's old and alone or when he found someone years from now he could settle with, he would have the memory of the lips of the one that got away. He would always have that one perfect heart breaking moment to cling too.

A very good friend of his, Lily, an awesome nerdy red head, she always seemed to be on the same wave length as him, so it wasn't exactly surprising that she figured it out. She recognised the typical signs of a teenager hopelessly in love, and when they were 16 she confronted him about the gay crisis he was having, recognising the signs from her own sexuality panic the year before. She helped and supported him through and always stood by the assumption he should come clean and tell Sirius everything. The last few months she had doubled her efforts, she seemed so sure of herself Remus almost believed her, he desperately wanted to believe her, but Remus was a realist and always stood firm with the 'hell no' response.

The kiss plan, or what she likes to call; 'get idiot one's lips on idiot two's lips right the hell now' plan was Lily's idea, as was the party the plan evolved around, and Remus was eagerly going along with it. They were 18; it was the perfect age for stupid drunken games. She was determined to get the to kiss one way or another, 'even if it means locking you both in a cupboard', her words ran through Remus' mind as he jogged down the stairs after finally being satisfied with his hair, he smiled knowing that Lily was completely capable of it, and probably very willing too, if all her moaning about his staring and pining was anything to go by.

It was Friday night and Remus was looking for to letting loose with his friends, Lily's parties was always a blast, only their small cirle of friends went, which meant no pretence was needed they could all just relax have fun and get drunk. He was riddled with excited nervousness as he waiting for Sirius to arrive so they could make the 5 minute walk to Lily's together.