TAUGHT

Fifteen

"Donghyuck, I thought you were asleep and—"

"I thought you like me."

Fuck!

"I thought you finally started to do so. I thought you're finally not denying anything."

He lifted his eyes to me, sobbed and punched my chest achingly. I had to bear it because I know this is just his way of feeling his emotions, in which I know are sadness and hatred towards me.

"But you fucker decided to kiss Renjun… twice… in your car… in which we had sex in…  in front of me… and almost as if you like him." He grit. "Do you like him?"

"I don't." I honestly said and then gently grope his hands that was punching me. "And I'm sorry for hurting you—"

In one swift motion, I've had his hands on top of my cheeks, giving me a harsh and strong slap that was the cause of my wild yelp as I flinch away.

"That's for being a jerk!" He hissed and opened my car seat.

I was too shocked from the slap that I wasn't able to run for him immediately but I did. Only after he had placed himself inside a taxi, and sprinted away. I crumbled to the ground, cursing myself for everything that happened.

For hurting Donghyuck, for making him cry, for shitting his life out, and for causing his hatred towards me. I am at fault. I admit to that. And the regret of not being able to bring him back into my arms was too much, I can't help it but cry.

Slowly, it sinked into me, how his eyes had a shade of bloody red when he looked at me, when his lips quivered furiously while talking to me, and when he cried because of me.

The image of him, bawling his eyes out, gave a very big impact to me and it immediately changed my perspective.

I like Donghyuck. I shouldn't have denied it in the first place. I shouldn't have kissed someone else. I like him, I should have told him this fact.

I like Donghyuck but the fucking pride and boastfulness of me just won't admit to things—that I was a jerk. And of all people, I probably hurted him most.

📚

It was an hour or more than that, before I was finally able to compose myself and sprint off to the nearest convenient store I can find.

Because, there's just no way I could forget about how Donghyuck cried in front of me aside from alcohol. I need it today. And so I did, purchasing more than I think I could take.

It took me by surprise how I got so hurt, because of the possibility that Donghyuck might never come back to me ever again. And even more admitting to every fault that I did inside those days that I've been with him.

And also, how fast I admitted to what I feel. We just knew each other for a total of three months, and I just got to hold him in a sexual way in just a month but then, I admit to have liked him in that span of time. It's not what I was expecting, really.

Or it's just that I haven't had any relationships, that's why. If Donghyuck would be mine, then he's my first. Oh, shit what am I thinking?

But then, my heart leaped just by thinking about it. Donghyuck and I? We're a perfect couple really. He would fit perfectly in my arms. He'd looks so cute and tiny beside me. I would carry him like a baby everywhere I go because that's what he is, a real baby. I would kiss him ‘til his lips bleed. I would engulf him in my arms. Cuddle with him until we fall asleep in our own bed. I'd have him as frequent as I can. I'd give my everything, because that's what he deserves.