A Lesson In Hope (Bucky Barnes x Reader Fic)

Week Eleven

So, I just realized I skipped week three.... lmao so this is week eleven... 

YN stared at herself in the mirror, her eyes dragging over her appearance. Her hair was a greasy mess, sitting atop her head. Her eyes were hooded, showing the little sleep she'd had since last Friday, nearly six days ago. Her hands were laying limp by her side, a slight tremor to them, due to the amount of caffeine she'd had to scoff down before she could see just one of her patients.

The day had been long, each patient consultation dragging on more than the last, and YN's patience was running thin. She could feel annoyance boil in her chest as her patients talked about themselves, and YN was trying really hard to remain her usual helpful self but it was becoming increasingly obvious, that she was unable to do that with her mind stuck on her own issues. As her last patient for the day had gone, YN had slid down the door, closing her eyes as her forehead rested against her knees.

Now, looking in the mirror, she could see why they had been giving her strange looks all day. She looked a mess, her usual put together attire being hastily thrown on in a haze of sadness and frustration.

She walked to the fridge, opening it to see if she could find something to eat, her eyes lazily dragging over its contents. Unable to find anything that would satisfy her, she snagged her keys and slipped on her trainers, leaving the house without a second thought.

The air was freezing as she stepped onto the street, the night sky was clear, the stars sparkling and making YN smile softly. She walked out of her yard, her feet crunching in the snow settled in the ground, leaving prints with every step.

YN arrived at her usual Chinese takeout joint, her money for her order already in her hands. They knew her order nearly by memory, not that YN would ever tell that to anyone. Grabbing the bag in her fist, YN nodded her thanks, her feet carrying her back to the snowy streets.

She was walking past Steve and Bucky's apartment when her ears picked up a familiar voice, her cheeks warming against the cold as she realized she had nowhere to go.

She looked up, meeting Bucky's surprised eyes. He was standing next to Elouise, her hand encased in his. YN's stomach tightened in sadness as her eyes hovered there for a moment. They looked perfect together, Elouise was the complete opposite to Bucky in every way, balancing him out.

YN swallowed thickly, forcing a smile onto her face as she stepped aside without a word. "Sorry." She muttered, keeping her head low as she passed.

Bucky's eyes followed her as she walked around them, his whole body turning as she went. His mouth was hanging open, forgotten words stuck to the base of his tongue. Elouise tugged his arm, but the effort was futile as Bucky's attention was completed captured by YN's sad eyes and hunched form.

Was she feeling what he was feeling?

He couldn't help but be happy that YN looked sad, and he hoped that if he made the effort to talk to her, she'd let him in again. They could return to their... whatever they were, again.

"Bucky!" Bucky turned, a frustrated frown on his face at Elouise's whine. "Who was she?" She demanded, looking majorly upset.

"Uh... an old friend." Elouise raised an eyebrow.

"She's kind of a bitch, then. Walking by without saying hello." She shrugged as they continued up Bucky's steps. "She used to come into the shop a bit, I don't know why she stopped."

Bucky swallowed down an impolite retort, instead shrugging his own shoulders. "Couldn't tell you."

YN slammed her door shut, tears filling her eyes. She should have known. She should have known he'd be indifferent about cutting ties. She was his doctor, nothing else. YN threw her keys onto the bar, shoving her takeaway into the fridge and grabbing a bottle of whiskey instead.