Chapter twenty-nine: Katniss

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My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm eighteen years old. I won the seventy-fourth hunger games, no one won the seventy-fifth hunger games. I'm from district twelve but it was bombed. I'm a hunter, I use the bow and arrow, I am safe. Peeta keeps me safe. I'm safe. I'm safe I'm safe I'm safe I'm safe I'm not safe!

"Katniss, Katniss, hey, deep breath. Deep breath." Finnick says as he grabs my hands from my hair. His hands feel dry and cracked as he guides my own dry hands back to my rope. "Tie the rope. Tie away your troubles." He says softly his green eyes full of worry as he tries to help me.

I look down to the rope and slowly start to tie it. Tie away my troubles. Lock them in the knot then when I undo it I'm okay. I'm without my trouble. Tie away the trouble. Tie it away.

"When is Peeta coming back?" Peeta had to leave for a solo shoot early this morning. Prim has been working on remedies and making sure everyone has what they need. Especially the injured who were injured yesterday while we were trying to move camp.

"Shouldn't be long." Finnick says as he pats my hand. "It's going to be okay. He's going to come back and we're going to eat lunch and then you have some filming to do if you're up to it."

No. Absolutely not. Can't do it. I won't.

"Okay, okay, deep breaths. You know you don't have to do any shots." He says as I lean on him and continue to tie my knots and untie them. Over and over and over and over again. My fingers feel raw from the rough rope. I don't care.

"Katniss, it's time to clean your wrists." Prim walks in, Prim! She kneels in front of me and takes my rope. "It's okay. I just need to treat your hands and make sure they don't blister or bleed." She gently rubs my fingers and palms with a salve before bandaging some of my existing blisters. She unlocks my handcuffs and smiles. "Why don't you stretch your arms a bit? I'm sure they're tired of constantly being cuffed together."

I move my arms and adjust them and my shoulders. It feels good to have my arms back to myself. I only get to stretch once a day, when Prim cleans my wrists. Well, unless I hurt them more in my sleep. Because of how they rest and how I sleep in them, in my nightmares I try to pull from them and freak out. The metal slices my wrists and they aren't getting any better. Prim and Peeta and Finnick try to convince Boggs and Coin to let me out of my handcuffs, but they refuse. I'm too dangerous.

When I'm finished stretching I hold my wrists out for my sister and her nimble fingers undo my bandages.

I'm not a healer, I hate blood and pus. I hate looking at injuries. I hate dealing with them. I quickly turn my head and hide in Finnick's neck while Prim does her thing. After Peeta's infected leg in the games I can't look at injuries. I can't.

I hiss in pain as the final wrapping on my wrist is taken off.

"They're getting worse." Prim said as she started to clean my wrists. "I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispers as she knows it's causing my pain.

"How are her wrists?" Finnick asks as he holds me close to comfort me.

"They're getting worse. They aren't closing and they're getting bigger because she's constantly forced to wear them. At this rate she'll have giant scars after these heal, but they won't heal because they demand she wears her cuffs." Prim is aggravated and upset. She stands up and sighs. "After I fix her up I going to give Boggs a piece of my mind with a syringe full of air!" I have never heard Prim so violent, so angry.

"Woah there duck," Finnick starts, "we can't do that. He's in charge of the mission. He keeps us safe. He has the communicator that gives us the location of the pods."

"Then we take it! I'm tired of my sister being treated like a wild animal and getting hurt constantly because of it."

"We know, Prim. We can't just take the communicator. It's linked to his voice and only his voice unless he passes it on."

"I'm still giving him a piece of my mind just without the syringe. Or maybe a syringe with sedative. Knock him out for a few hours." Prim returns to my hands and gently takes care of them. "I don't care as long as my sister won't be trapped in the cuffs anymore."

"You're adorable when you're mad." Finnick antagonizes her and finally I can look up since my wrists are bandaged.

"I'm adorable? I know how to painlessly and painfully end your life. Don't get on my bad side." Prim huffs and crosses her arms keeping the cuffs off my arms.

"Prim, they have to go back on." I say holding my arms out to my sister. "I'm uncontrollable. I'm a mutt."

"Woah, you are not a mutt." Finnick says gently grabbing my chin. He's like the older brother I never had. "You just have bad memories, and that's okay. Bad things have happened. But that does not mean you're a mutt."

I pull away from him and hold my arms out again. "I need my cuffs."

"Absolutely not. As your doctor your arms need to breathe and need to have time out of the cuffs." Prim says setting the cuffs next to her.

"When did you get so hardheaded and stubborn? Isn't that my job?" I asked her and she sticks her tongue out at me.

"I'm done watching you get hurt because they refuse to treat you like a human. You will get these back when we absolutely have to put them back on you." Prim says giving me a stern look and I nod. I can't fight with her.

"Okay, you win." I look down at my rope and get back to tying my knots.

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