TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death

TommyInnit The Courageous Vigilante Who Constantly Avoids Death

As he jumps onto another building, Tommy smirks as he realises he has lost them.

Hah. No one catches TommyInnit lacking. Not in this economy.

Tommy sighs, exhaustion catching up to him as the adrenaline wears out. He crouches down and sits over the edge of a florist shop. His legs dangle over the edge and he lifts his mask to scratch his chin.

Tonight's patrol was kind of intense. His back aches after one guy threw a banana at him. Honestly what the fuck. Why was that banana so big? Where did he even get that banana?

Tommy feels a buzz on his ass and realises he's been sitting on his phone. He pulls it out.

15 missed calls and 34 texts.

Tubbo is going to defenestrate him. He's going to have to replace another window.

Tommy sighs and puts his phone on Do Not Disturb. It's a problem for future Tommy. Who is not present Tommy.

Tommy is brought out of his thoughts by the sound of shouting. He almost thinks it's the thugs, back again for more.

But no. He could recognize those voices anywhere.

It's - It's three of the top ten heroes! Tommy's fanboy heart soars. His favourite heroes! In his area, in his patrol area.

This- this is a miracle . A blessing . A gift from the Gods .

"Hey, you! What are you doing on that building?"

This is a problem.

Tommy stumbles to his feet, almost falling off the edge of the shop.

What should he say? Oh god, oh god.

He deepens his voice, "Oh you know, just, uh, patrolling the area."

His idol, his hero the Winged Hero Philza walks out of the darkness of the night.

"Can you show me your Hero License? Sorry there's just been a lot of illegal activities going around lately, don't mean to be a bother mate," The hero explains.

Tommy could faint, right here, right now. Philza is speaking to him.

Then the words sink in.

Okay, Tommy may need to backtrack just a little bit. You see, well there's no easy way to say this but -

Tommy is not a hero.

Shocker, he knows right? Yes, yes, he knows he had you all fooled, it's okay. It's an easy assumption to make because he's so courageous and athletic and handsome and charismatic.

But it's true, Tommy is not a hero.

Tommy is a vigilante.

And he is currently being hunted down by his biggest heroes.

"Hey! Stop running, we won't hurt you!" The siren hero Willow shouts out to him. Yes, that's very convincing, Tommy rolls his eyes and then fanboys a bit because oh my god Willow just shouted at him.

"Actually we may hurt you a bit," The sword hero Blade confesses as he strides after the teenager, menacing sword in hand. The Blade . Oh this is the best thing that's ever happened to Tommy, like ever.

Yeah, Tommy may just die tonight.

But, hey, he met his idols. He will probably die happy.