It Should Have Been Like This

Book Twenty-three: finally free

This chapter is shorter than usual but please manage it.

Zachary's viewpoint

   I would never wish any child what my siblings and I went through, not even my enemy. It hurts to see your parents so close yet so far. After so many years of watching her cry herself to sleep and smile at day like nothing happened, she finally had the real chance to get everything she ever wanted. Yet, she was stubborn. Now she was in a hospital bed with our father sobbing as he held her hand, Sera and I watching him in silent and in the dark corner of the room. He was too sad and lost in pain to notice when we walked in or how long we had been sitting there watching him.

   It saddened me to let this go on without being of much help. The plans we set was stopped because we got to understand that mom was trying to set herself free and for once she needed to do something herself without us pushing her. Maybe if we had done what we needed to do, she wouldn't be in this condition, wouldn't be trapped on a bed. She wasn't going to die, I knew that very well, but, watching both my parents in that condition was heartbreaking.

   Grandma Kara returned so she was at home with the others, along with Aunt Rylee. They didn't need to see their parents like this, but we had to. Just in case mother wakes up and decide to continue to act stubborn, Sera and I already decided we had enough. She tries nonsense, we tell her the truth and go live with our grandparents until she get her act together.

   I might not have understood love that much, but I knew what father felt for her was enough to call love. Never do I want to experience such love, never. So far, love is pain and misery, like a living death punishment and I love myself too much to experience such a painful punishment. Mom and dad needed it to heal, my siblings might need it, but never me. And by looking at Sera, I knew she felt the same way.

Love is just too painful.

   "Zachary, look," Sera's urgent whisper brought me out of my thought. I looked at her and saw her pointing at the bed with a wide smile and tears in her eyes. I looked towards the bed to see mom's eyes open and looking at the crying man holding her hand. His face was buried in the bed but his sobs and his quivering shoulders made it obvious.

   "How long have she been awake?" I whispered. Sera shrugged.

   "Got out of my thought to see her that way," I nodded and looked back at my parents. Mom was watching him with a unreadable expression on her face. It looked like she was contemplating pushing him away or throwing a tantrum. She just needed to be over this already.

   "Rominic," she spoke softly, barely above a whisper but because of the silence, it was easy to hear her. I wonder how she didn't realize we were there. Maybe she was just as lost as dad.

   Dad sat up instantly. I wondered how he would be feeling now, relief or happiness? Fear? Worry that she would push him away? Panic that she still hasn't forgiven him? Maybe she would hate him more for making her pass out. I really didn't want to be subjected to such torture by any woman or love. It was beyond stressful.

   "Laverne, babe, you are awake! I'll get the doctor!" Dad tried to stand but mom squeezed his hand in hers. "What?"

   "Don't go, I'm fine."

   "But..."

   "Shut up and sit down, Nic," dad looked at her unsurely, but even I would sit at the coldness on her face and in her voice. I imagined what he would be feeling, definitely scared and expectant of her next harsh words. Dad reluctantly sat down, gulping loud enough for me to hear. I looked towards Sera and on cue, she was looking at me. She shook her head, instructing me not to interfere. They needed this time to themselves and this would help us decide what to do with our big babies.