Midnights In Paris | Jenlisa

Hearts Are Made to Be Broken

Lisa's gaze finally locked into Kristine's and she didn't like what she saw. It made her feel naked. For a second, she imagined what would happen if Kristine could actually see through her. Another shiver went down her spine.

"Why me if I don't look anything like her?"

The hand that had gone to caress the blonde's sides over her suddenly stilled. So did her breath.

"I saw how she looked at you"

She still said nothing, her mind suddenly too clouded with words she knew she couldn't put into a sentence.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"Ex"

"And are you both okay with it?" Kristine asked as her hand went to put a strand of wild hair behind Lisa's small ear.

"She broke my heart"

That's all she could say. Nothing less, nothing more. And when she spoke, her tone of voice just above a whisper, she realized she hadn't exactly answered the question. To her, it felt like that statement was esplicative enough. Still, part of her wondered whether it'd be easier to explain everything, the heartbreak, the pain and the confusion to a stranger. Maybe, then, she would be able to explain it to herself, too. Because she still couldn't make anything make sense to her. With Kristine's hand caressing her hair, her mind wondered if it ever would.

"Oh, darling" Kristine said, shuffling once again closer to Lisa, a wicked smile on her face as she spoke, her lips hovering once again over Lisa's quivering ones:

"hearts are made to be broken"

She stares at the red liquid, swirling in circular motions as her hand twirls the base of the glass of wine, one would say already too empty for it to be just the beginning of the dinner.

She doesn't want to bring her eyes up and meet Jisoo and Chaeyoung's own expectant ones. She doesn't want to see the pity she knows she could find, hidden behind a forced, polite smile. She knows what they're thinking. But the worst is, she knows they're right.

Yet, her mind's too fixated on one thing, as usual, to notice that her friends aren't giving Jennie's tardiness too much thought and are rather preoccupied on their own, personal, manners. That, Lisa couldn't know. After all, she never asked.

She hears whispered sentences, lonely words that don't make sense to her because she can't connect them to the big picture she is definitely missing. Anything that isn't Jennie related, she usually never pays too much attention to it.

Still, her consciousness tells her she's being rude and even if intruding a personal conversation is even worse than minding her own business, she glares up and sees Chaeyoung's eyes soften lightly. Her mouth opens to speak but she is soon cut off by the latecomer to the party.

"I'm so sorry. Got caught up at work. Dinner's on me"

Lisa studies her girlfriend as she speaks apologetic words she knows she doesn't mean ( to her at least). Maybe that's why she has yet to acknowledge her presence, she tells herself.

She's wearing a beige turtleneck that accentuates the blackness of her hair which she hurriedly ties up with a hair clamp Lisa gifted her on one of their first dates. As soon as she does, she is invested with a rich, almost manly scent that makes her eyes narrow. It doesn't take her long to recognize that it's not her perfume.

Jennie keeps on talking, gesturing with her hands as she explains her day while a waiter wearing a double-breasted suit comes to fetch her coat and move her chair. She gives him just a glimpse of a smile but Lisa, who has been observing the scene like a vulture, can state that he's already smitten by her presence. Everybody seemed to be lately, that charismatic side of her isn't familiar to Lisa though, whose first impression of Jennie was of an extremely quiet girl with a rough childhood. That did not mean that she wanted things to be that way for her, she thrived when Jennie thrived and hurt when she did. Sometimes, though, she just missed the simplicity of how things were, just the two of them.

So, she decides to take the first step and, when everybody's busy scrutinizing the menus in their hands, she shifts in her seat, just enough for Jennie to understand her as she low-whispers.

"You smell like..."

"Like a hooker?"  Jennie is fast to finish the sentence for her, her tone of voice glacial yet daring as her eyes stays fixated on the list of seconds the restaurant offers. Lisa thinks she's doing it only to avoid having to talk to her since she always orders the same thing when they go there: filet mignon and a salad as a side dish, no vinegar.

So, she straightens her posture, and leaves Jennie's personal space. She would be lying if she said she did not know what was coming. Jennie had been freezing her out ever since the argument they had a week before. Calling her a prostitute working for her dad had not indeed been Lisa's greatest moments in terms of "communicating her thoughts" with Jennie but she had not expected her to take it so personally.

Turning her head to answer her, she notices a detail she had yet to take into consideration: a dazzling red lipstick adorns her lips, making it hard to take ones eyes off of them. The thought that Jennie was stuck at work vanishes in an instant, along with her new found will to act civil towards her. Like a castle made of cards, her hope crashes to the ground.

"I was gonna say incense, but yes, that works too I guess"

She answers and she can sense every fiber in Jennie's body tense up but, at the same time, it could be a mere trick of her imagination, making her feel just a little bit better by knowing that her words could affect her somehow. And if there was something that Jennie hated more than confrontation, it was a public one. So it did not come to a surprise when she heard her and Chaeyoung chirping about a designer's new collection they were, quoting, "dying to get their hands on".

She shuts the menu on the table with a loud thud that manages to catch Jisoo's attention. They don't need to talk about it to know what's going on in each other's minds. The concealer is not enough to hide the bags underneath her eyes and Lisa can see through every expression her face tries to pull to cover the exhaustion she knows her friend is feeling. So, she kicks her under the table and shots her one of her eyebrows move and it's enough to make her giggle.

The dinner goes on like that, their conversation barely breaking through the two sides to become one, involving everybody present, but it's not something they aren't used to lately. Talking to Jisoo feels carefree because they speak about anything but what's been making their lives miserable and Lisa feels grateful for that and all the forced conversations she is spared. She doesn't remember the last time she has laughed that hard with Jennie and part of her feels guilty for even thinking so because she loves her. She knows she does. So why does she feel like running away every time she catches her watching her?