Somewhere Along the Way...To Asgard

Paint It Black...

My emotions were so strong, I conjured up a ball of fire, wind and water all mixed together at once. I watched it grow along with the anger inside me. But the pain, the heartache. It overtook my senses and the ball grew and grew until I could no longer control it.

She had taken him from me. The one thing I loved more than anything. Gone. Because of her.

With that I stared her right in the eyes before I released the deadly amethyst orb. She flew helplessly across the field flailing in the air. Slamming into a large rock. I heard the clear snap of her spine as she connected with it.

In my frenzied power rage, I slammed my hands down against the earth. It shuddered and trembled under the sheer force and a crater formed where my hands hit the dirt. Ice shot across the grass, freezing everything it in its path.

Except for Loki.

As it connected with Yggdrasil's roots, ice darted up over its trunk, across its branches and stopped the flames in their tracks.

Stopping Ragnarok.

Leaving nothing but Yggdrasil smouldering as it stood proud, glimmering in the sunlight in a sheet of ice.

"Y/N?" Odin's voice sounded behind me.

I spun around to look at him, my chest heaving. Attempting to blink the tears away from my eyes to really look at him.

He was alive. I seen his eye landing on Loki and a look of horror and pain washed over his face.

Odin turned to look at my Mother who lay paralysed at the base of the boulder. Before turning back to me reaching Gungnir towards me.

"Do you wish to? Or shall I?" He asked.

I shook my head, my voice breaking as I spoke. "N-no. Y-you do it."

I watched as he moved over to tower above her, "This, this is for my Son. May you find no peace wherever you go in the afterlife." He snarled before piercing it right through her throat.

There was a guttering noise leave her mouth as I watched blood gurgling from it. Her eyes looking around her bewildered. Until they landed on me.

I watched the life slip from her body, the way she had made me watch Loki die, and I felt no remorse. None. The cloudiness washed over her eyes like a veil as her heart finally stopped beating.

As soon as it did I ran to his body, pulling the spear from his chest with ease.

"My Love." I sobbed, cradling his lifeless body into my arms like he weighed nothing. "Oh Loki...why did you not leave when I asked you to?" I cried out. "If you had just listened..."

My body was trembling, "Come here," I pressed his cheek to the metal of my chest plate. Smoothing down his curls, moving them from his face. Rocking us gently, I closed my eyes as tears continued to fall.

"I can fix this Loki, let me bring you back." I whispered, peppering his colder than usual skin with kisses. "I can heal you again. Like before? Yes." I nodded, "Yes I can heal you."

"Y/N, you won't be able to heal him this time." Odin's voice was full of sorrow as he spoke.

I turned my tear stained face to look up at him with blurry eyes. I shook my head frantically in disbelief.

"No. No. Odin. I...I can! He can't be gone. He CAN'T!!" My voice was stern. "I can....I can save him..." I trailed off, as I squeezed him in my arms.

Odin sighed, before he disappeared before my eyes momentarily, returning with Thor and Tyr.

I tried my hardest to heal him, I closed my eyes and summoned every last ounce of determination, watching as my hands tried to glow as they touched his chest. But nothing happened.

"Why-why won't it work?" My voice shook as I stared in disbelief at my hands.

Thor's eyes landed upon the scene before him, as I looked up at him helplessly.

"He can't be. Thor. He can't be gone..." I sobbed, as he fell to his knees beside us.

"Brother?" His voice was hoarse, "Brother if this is one of your silly games...give it up now...Brother?" Thor's voice fell to a whisper.

"It's not Thor." Odin placed his hand upon his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Y/N."

I peppered more kisses over Loki's face. Gently stroking his cheek, "I'm sorry Loki. I love you. I love you with all my fucking heart...please...please don't be gone." I wailed, "I'm so so sorry..." my sobs were catching in my chest. As my heart wrenched in pain. "I will see you again. I promise. Soon. We will be together."

I closed my eyes, imagining it. A place of pure bliss. Where we could spend eternity together. As man and wife. I ran my fingers across his lips, wiping the trickle of blood from the corner of them. Before I placed a slow, tender kiss on them, "But I want you here now. This isn't fair. I want you here with me now Loki. Please." I murmured against his lips, my tears falling to land upon his ice cold skin. Slowly slipping along his cheeks. "Don't leave me...please. How am I meant to go on?" I begged helplessly.

"Little One." Thor's voice was faint. I looked at him to see tears welling in his eyes. He reached over, placing his hand upon Loki's forearm.

"I assure you Brother. The sun will shine on us again." He smiled weakly at me. Before the tears escaped his eyes too.

A dark shadow passed over us and I looked up to find Hulk, staring down at us. His eyebrows knitted together and I seen him frown. He looked over his shoulder and I followed his gaze, looking through his legs to see the group slowly making their way towards us.

I bit my lip, trying to hold back more sobs as they stilled in front of us. Nat and Wanda gasping and covering their mouths when they seen me cradling him in my arms.

"He's gone." I whispered.

Steve dropped to his knees beside me. Dropping his shield at my side, before slipping his arm over my shoulders.

"Y/N?" His voice was soft.

My body went weak, as the realisation washed over me. "But...but he can't be. Steve. He can't be gone. We...." I looked at my hand. My ring still there. Just covered in blood, "We were meant to get married." I looked up at them all helplessly. "He proposed to me." I laughed weakly, smiling through my tears. "I said yes. Of course I said yes..."

Tyr made his way over and bent down, gently scooping Loki out of my arms. I wanted to fight him as my eyes followed him, but there was no more fight left in me. I could feel my whole world slipping away from beneath me as I looked at Loki. Lying lifeless in Tyr's arms. "Seems his one weakness..." he paused looking down at the trickster, "It was you..." he looked at me with a pained expression on his face.

I slumped forwards, sobbing into my hands uncontrollably. Steve stood, lifting his shield and securing it onto his back. Then bent down to pull me from the ground safely into his arms and I clutched onto him. My arms wrapped around his neck as I sobbed into his neck. Holding on like my life depended on it.

Because right now.

I didn't know what I was meant to do.

He was gone.

How was I meant to survive?