I Need You To Feel Again

I'll Be Missing You

In about five hours, Alex woke up to Jack squirming in bed. "Hey baby what's wrong?" Alex asked half asleep.

"Stomach hurts," Jack groaned, clutching his stomach almost curled up.

"I know it's okay, I'll get you some water and a heating pad," Alex said as he got up quickly to get those things for Jack. He saw May in the living room sleeping with her dog Solo, and he was glad she was finally sleeping because she was in the same boat as him. He got Jack some water and a heating pad, and when he came back Jack was sprawled out on the bed getting chills and Alex assumed he had a fever.

"Alex," Jack cried, reaching for him.

"Shhh I know it's okay I'm here it will be over soon," Alex told him as he laid down behind him and helped him to sit up to drink some water and take a Tylenol.

Jack didn't feel good at all, he knew it would be bad going through this but he wanted to quit almost instantly.

"Do you feel sick?" Alex asked him as he put a wet washcloth on his head to help his fever go down.

"Yeah a little," Jack muttered, laying his head on Alex's chest.

"You wanna get up or just stay here?" Alex asked him, rubbing his back to calm him and ease some of the pain.

"Here," Jack groaned as he held his stomach. The meds they gave him in the hospital were a high dosage, and being off them for 24 hours started to affect him. He leaned over the side of the bed and started coughing and he held Alex's hand tightly squeezing it.

"It's okay, I'm right here baby," Alex sighed as he got up and gave Jack a trash can and helped him sit up. He rubbed Jack's back and tried to get him comfortable because he knew how bad the antidepressant withdrawals were. Alex would take away all of Jack's pain in a heartbeat. Jack began to puke a bunch, and since he could barely eat it was mostly clear again. Jack started to cry, when it got so bad he could barely get the energy to keep his head up in between breaks.

"I'll take you to the bathroom now Jacky," Alex said as he picked him up. He felt Jack trembling in his arms and the sweat that was beginning to go through his shirt from the fever. He helped him down on the ground and sat beside him and supported him up.

Jack was on the bathroom floor almost the rest of the day, and he ended up mostly puking and then sleeping on Alex's lap constantly. May also ended up staying in the bathroom with them, because she was making sure that Jack was staying hydrated and trying to get him to get the slightest bit of food in his stomach. At about five pm, Jack started to feel a little bit better and was starting to get a little of his appetite back.

"I can cook you whatever you want Jack," May smiled as she held her brother's hand.

"Mhmmm mom's pasta I miss mom," Jack muttered as he clung to Alex's waist even though he ended up falling asleep and leaning on the tub.

May seemed shocked when Jack said that, it wasn't unknown that Jack and his mom had a more complicated relationship. His mom was absent a lot, and even when May was younger both of their parents were busy. May just took it as Jack was really struggling when he asked for her, and she was right.

"Okay, Jacky I'll make you and Alex that, try to get more sleep okay? I'll wake you up when dinners are done," She smiled, messing up Jack's hair.

Jack smiled a little, and nodded, and curled right back up next to Alex under his purple Baltimore Ravens blanket. He still had chills, even though he was still sweating and he was freezing. He held onto Alex though, his sunshine boy always radiating warmth.

Eventually, May woke up both of them and helped Jack sit up at the table and he even had the energy to stay awake the whole time they sat there. Alex was glad he looked a little bit better, and so was May they were both constantly worrying about Jack. Alex knew that Jack was probably going to be on bed rest for a week before he could go back to school, and he didn't know if his parents were going to let him take that much time off to help Jack. May told Alex he didn't have to, but Alex wanted to be there for Jack; he knew how hard it was for Jack when he was mostly alone all the time in his room.

"Jack, you need a bath?" Alex asked him to help May with the dishes and everything.

"Yeah, after that can we go to bed Alex?" Jack asked him, chattering his teeth still because of the chills.

"Yeah baby whatever you want, we can even watch Home Alone," Alex laughed, kissing his forehead.

"He really must love you to put up with that obsession of yours Jack," May laughed.

"It's good May," Jack smiled a little, rolling his eyes.

Alex laughed, and he helped Jack up and took him to the bathroom, and grabbed them both towels. Jack stood up and supported his body weight by leaning forward on the bathroom counter. He wanted to at least try to be independent, so he took his shirt off on his own and dropped it on the floor almost instantly, getting dizzy.

"Whoa be careful babe don't rush anything," Alex said, going over to him and helping him with the rest. They both got into the tub, and Alex began to clean Jack and wash his hair. Jack had always liked when Alex helped him, but he saw that Alex was tired too.

"Alex let me, it's the least I could do, you've done so much for me the past month. Please?" Jack asked him gently, rubbing his thumb along Alex's jawline.

"Yeah I wouldn't mind that, and baby it's worth me being tired. I love you and I want to take care of you all the time baby," Alex smiled, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"I love you too Lex," Jack smiled, kissing him back. Jack cleaned Alex too, washing the older boy's hair as he looked into his hazel eyes. Alex smiled at Jack, he always liked how he made him feel so special because he would look at him like he was the only person in the world.

The boys eventually got out of the tub and went back into the guest room in May's apartment. Alex laid down on the bed with his arms wrapping around Jack, and he could tell Jack was too tired to even watch his favorite movie. Alex hummed a tune to one of the songs he wrote while he was in the car while going to New York.

"Lexy it sounds pretty, can you sing me to sleep?" Jack asked Alex as his eyes simply began to shut close.

"Yeah baby sure," Alex smiles, kissing him once again.

I heard that you've been
Self-medicating in the quiet of your room,
Your sweet, suburban tomb.
And if you need a friend,
I'll help you stitch up your wounds.

I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
But if you need a friend
Then please just say the word

You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do,
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

Jack looked at him with tears in his eyes, and he knew Alex wrote that about him. He had no words, because it meant so much to him. He smiled at Alex and kissed him gently, and held his hand.

"You aren't allowed to leave Jack I'm gonna miss you," Alex frowned.

"I'll try, you just gave me a little push to pull on through, because I would miss you too baby," He said, kissing him and laying on Alex's chest.

"Okay I need you," Alex said as he kissed his boyfriend.

Jack missed when Alex kissed him as much as he used to, now it seemed like Alex was afraid to touch him like he was going to break him at any given time. He didn't want Alex to be afraid, so he gently took Alex's hand and placed it on his own cheek. He saw Alex blush a little bit, and look around anxiously but he calmed down once he caught a glance in Jack's eyes. His eyes were his anchor, just a glance by Jack could make him feel instantly calm or feel every single emotion at once. He smiled a little bit and kissed Jack's lips again. Jack smiled, and pulled him closer towards him, he missed Alex being relaxed around him more often. Alex just missed the boy he fell in love with.