Surprise, Surprise

Chapter 8

"I mean, it only happened once after I caught Keegan. But after I was drugged and overdosed, it started happening more and more, and it's driving me crazy. She seems so real, but I never get close enough to her. I keep having dreams about her and what our life would've been like had she not died. But I also keep having these dreams about Spencer in different cases where we were too late to the victim on cases at the BAU. But instead of the victim, it was Spencer. I just, I don't understand what is happening in my mind anymore. It's getting confusing for me, and I just want to rip my hair out because of it." JJ said to her therapist. 

"Do you think this may be a way of grieving Emily's death?" her therapist asked. 

"I don't know. It could be. But this is a sick way of grieving if it is." JJ said. 

"It could also be because you haven't fully accepted Emily's death yet. Which is understandable as grief is different for everyone. But until you fully accept it, I don't think she will go away." she said. 

"It's just hard to accept it. I thought I would after I caught Keegan and got her justice. I thought that my mind would be at peace with it after. But it never happened. I just, I don't know. I just feel like she never really died. My hallucinations of her just seem too real. When you really love someone enough, you develop this connection with them. Almost like an intuition. I just want to believe that she isn't actually dead, but we buried her, so it's hard for me to believe she's alive." JJ said. 

"That's understandable. I personally don't know what it's like to lose a spouse. But I do know that losing a loved one is never an easy thing. I can't even imagine what you had to go through. Now, you mentioned earlier your dreams. Are they causing you to lose sleep?" she asked. JJ nodded her head. 

"I get maybe five hours of sleep a week. Granted this is only the third week since this started happening. But it's averaged about five hours a week." JJ answered. 

"Okay. Have you talked to your doctor about this?" she asked. 

"Not yet. I just want to see if there are some ways that will help me sleep before I am put on a medication for it." JJ said. 

"Understandable. Do you think that lack of sleep could play a role in you hallucinating Emily?" she asked. 

"It could." JJ answered. They talked for another 45 minutes before JJ was done with her session. She walked out of the building feeling like a lot of weight has been released from her shoulders. SHe doesn't like talking about hallucinating Emily with others because she knows they would make her feel like she was crazy. 

JJ and Brooklyn had decided that they were going to meet up at a coffee shop so they could have a girl's day. They were just getting coffee, shopping, and getting food. "You look like death." Brooklyn said once she saw JJ. 

"Just haven't been sleeping well." JJ said. 

"Why's that?" she asked. 

"Just can't sleep." JJ said. Brooklyn didn't push for a further explanation, which JJ was thankful for. When they got up to the cash register, they ordered what they wanted. JJ ended up getting Emily's favorite coffee, which was a an iced breve with toasted marshmallow and salted caramel, as well as a pumpkin snickerdoodle scone. Brooklyn got an iced house coffee with a splash of coconut milk and a blueberry muffin. After their coffee was done and they received their bakery items they sat outside. They just talked about their life, and JJ talked about the kids a lot of the time. Once they were done, they decided to drive to the nearest thrift store. They both loved thrifting and saving money. 

JJ looked around and found a lot of cute tops that she liked. some of them were even brand new. She then looked at the dresses and found about 10 that she knew she was going to wear. All but three were brand new. As she was waiting in line to try them on, she overheard someone complaining about having to wait. "This has got to be the worst service I've ever had. I mean, it doesn't take long to unlock a damn door." 

"I'm so sorry. It's only two of us today, and my coworker has to be in the back for donations leaving me the only one upfront to cash people out and unlock the dressing room doors while putting out clothes and-" the girl frantically said, but the other girl cut her off. 

"Did I ask for your life story? I just need you to unlock the door so we can try everything on and get to our mani/pedi appointment. which we are going to be late to thanks to you." the girl said. JJ already wanted to smack her mouth. So she decided to chime in. Brooklyn was still looking at shirts, so she couldn't stop her. 

"I'm sorry, but have you worked in retail before?" JJ asked the girl who looked to be about 16 or 17. 

"Uh, I don't have to work because I'm rich. Who even asked you, princess?" she asked. 

"Well I'm just say that you shouldn't yell at this girl who is obviously having a hard day just because she's slow at unlocking the dressing room door, and you're going to be late to your stupid appointment. Next time plan ahead better." JJ said. 

"Like you have anything to say. You probably haven't even worked in your life either and just spend your husband's money." she said. 

"Actually princess unlike you I actually work for my money. I save what I can even though my WIFE has more money than your daddy will ever have. I don't have to spend the money my dad works hard to earn on stupid shit and designer things. Oh wait. Is daddy losing his money? Is that why you're shopping in a thrift store? That must be so tragic. I at least will always have money because I actually work for it. And I get paid a lot with being an FBI agent and police officer." JJ said. The ladies around them were clapping. 

"Whatever." the teenager said and rolled her eyes. JJ was pretty happy with herself even though she just told a teenager off. JJ decided that she didn't need to try on the clothes she had and asked the cashier to cash her out just so the teenagers had to wait even longer. 

"Actually, you can cash us out too." the other people in line said. The two teenagers shouted in frustration and looked angry, and none of them cared. 

After a long day of speaking to her therapist, shopping with Brooklyn, and spending the rest of her night with the kids, JJ was exhausted. For the first time, when she closed her eyes she fell right asleep. In her dream, she was slow dancing with Emily. "I can't wait for the day we're together again." JJ said with her head on Emily's shoulder. 

"Don't worry. We will meet again very soon." After Emily said that, JJ jolted right up. 

"What the hell does that mean?" JJ thought.

A/N

Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter!