One Step Ahead Part II | Sirius Black

Chapter 201

"Sirius?"

He jumps again, startled from his thoughts. His cheeks burn when she quirks a brow, and he realizes he's been staring at her the whole time. Her smile grows, and her head tilts to the side slightly. He chews on his cheek before reaching out and tucking her hair behind her ear, mumbling, "Merlin, you're cute, aren't you?"

Gwen grins, eyes narrowing. He feels himself smiling, feels his anxiety turn to mirth as she retorts, "Merlin, you're good at avoiding things, aren't you?"

Sirius rolls his eyes, feeling lighter as he reaches for the doorknob with his free hand, opening it and tugging her in behind him before he can change his mind.

His lungs stop working again once he's inside his room, his eyes lingering on the mess of clothing scattered and falling from open drawers. It was a disaster. The same disaster he'd created when he'd so hurriedly shoved anything he could fit into a trunk. The disaster he'd left behind when he'd apparated to Gwen's beach for the first time.

It was a big room, but it had felt small last time he was here. His bed is made, the wooden headboard so beautifully carved is dusty and dull.  The velvet curtains are unmoved, spread wide open to let in as much light as possible. He'd never shut them. He'd always kept them open, always wanted light to warm the chilled home.

The wallpaper barely peaks through the posters he'd permanently stuck to the wall with charms that his father had been unable to reverse. His cheeks warm when he glances down and finds Gwen staring at one of a muggle girl in a rather skimpy bikini.

"I put them up because it pissed off Wallburga," Sirius explains quickly, embarrassed by the nervousness he feels when Gwen simply nods, her eyes drifting to Gryffindor banners and pictures of motorcycles.

She grows still and Sirius peers over her shoulder to find her staring at the framed pictures he left behind. She's focused on one in particular, one with him and James and Remus and Peter with their arms wrapped around each other. The picture moves, shows them all laughing and elbowing each other.

Sirius smiles and anxiously rubs the back of his neck, though now it's not because of his parents or his past. It's because a girl that outshines all of the pictures on the walls is standing so silently he's afraid to know what she's thinking.

She turns to face him as if she knows what he's thinking, her eyes already crinkled at the corners in anticipation of a smile. Merlin, she wasn't just cute. She was a star.

"You've never had a girl in your room before, have you?"

He's surprised by her teasing tone, even more surprised by the boyish shyness he feels. He offers up a slight shrug before mumbling awkwardly, "I'm sure I have."

Gwen smiles, her pink lips spreading to reveal the tiny gap in her front teeth that he adores more than he'd care to admit. His feet carry him forward, heart pumping and hands sweating like a hormonal third year. He reaches out and grabs her chin, tilting her head up so he can see perfectly into the heavenly waters of her blue eyes.

She made him nervous, though in a good way. It feels good to feel this way, to feel shy and awkward like he would have if things had been different and she had been able to visit him at Grimmauld Place when they were young and in school. If he could have introduced her to loving parents and snuck her up to his room where they could have fooled around and snogged until they got yelled at for having the door shut. It feels good to be young when he felt so bone tired and weary.

Gwen looks shy too, her smile fading into a coy quirk of her lips that has him feeling almost lightheaded. He runs his thumb across her pinking cheeks, over the bridge of her nose.

"What?" He murmurs, his fingers lingering on the edge of her jaw. His hand slips higher, tangles in the pearlescent strands of hair that he's so enraptured by. It pains him to know that people would hurt her because of it, that Snape gave away her hair to Voldemort. That people would hurt her to take bits of her essence for their own gain.

Gwen blinks and reaches up to run her thumb across his jaw, her smile thoughtful as she feels the slight stubble under her touch. Sirius smirks slightly when her voice comes out uncertain, her eyes flirting with the open door behind him,

"We should go."

Sirius nods, his breathing hitching when her eyes flutter shut from the gentle touch of his hand in her hair. He doesn't look away from her face, doesn't look away from his future in search of answers to his past. Instead he used his free hand to grasp his wand and wordlessly point it behind his back. The door swings shut and locks seamlessly, his boyish grin deepening as he admits lowly, "I've never had a girl in my room before. Certainly not in my bed."

Gwen laughs, her head tilting back into his waiting hand as his free arm winds around her and lifts her up, her legs curling around his torso. Sirius chuckles, hiding his face in her shoulder and walking forward until his knees hit his bed frame and she falls back onto the mattress. Her giggles are contagious, another dose of young nerves creeping up his spine. She's cute, carefree.

She doesn't note the state of his childhood room, the angst that is palpable and nearly screams at them from the wallpaper. If these walls could speak, they wouldn't tell stories of a young boy and a young girl fooling around. They would only  know pain, legends and epics full of screaming and cursing and crying.

But it feels good to feel young, to kiss her carefully like it's the first time and hold her hand.

It feels better to feel young with her.

{{maybe a steamy chapter next wink wink. I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving!}}