His Passerine // Bucky Barnes // 18+

65. Wedding Jitters.

Cause I know I don't understand
Just how what your love can do
What no one else can
Got me lookin' so crazy right now
You love's got me lookin' so crazy right now
Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Your touch's got me lookin' so crazy right now
Got me hoping you page me right now
Your kiss's got me hoping you save me right now
Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin'
Got me lookin' so crazy in love.

~Crazy In Love.
(By: Sofia Karlberg.)

Written in 3rd person:

Being with him is not going to be easy. Loki's words echoed in Kristyn's ears. She could feel her heart pumping, her arms, feet, head getting warmer and brain going all over the place. She was feeling like she was drowning and nobody was there to save her from sinking deeper. I can't marry you. How a few simple words can have such a firm effect on someone.

"Can we- uhm, can we go inside?" Kristyn said, collecting herself together. Bucky nodded and Kristyn took a sharp breath, walking towards his room. She opened the door and held it for Bucky as he walked inside. Closing and locking the door, she took a deep breath and turned to face Bucky, who was turning her fear into fury.

"Okay." She said. "What the hell do you mean you can't marry me?" She asked, stepping closer to him.

"It means just that." Bucky stated, casually.
"Are you out of your mind?" Kristyn said furrowing her brows.

"No, Kristyn. You don't understand." He said walking around the bed.
"What don't I understand?" Kristyn asked putting her hands on her hips.

"That I can't-" Bucky took a sharp breath. "I just can't marry you. I'm sorry." He said, sorrow dripping from his words.

"You are sorry?" Kristyn said, angrily, trailing towards him. "You. Are. Sorry.?" She repeated, pointing a finger at him. "Bucky, this isn't a joke. This is our wedding. Our life." She stood in front of him, gazing into his eyes.

"I'm not joking." Bucky plainly said, walking away, again and making her angrier. She closed her eyes, inhaling sharply.

"Bucky, you can't come to me a day before our wedding and say that you can't marry me." She said turning to face him with enraged voice.

"Kristyn-" Bucky said in a higher voice and then took a breath, sitting on the bed, sighing. "Coming back here, surfaced too many memories and realising what I am, I can't pull you into my life." He yelled a little, getting frustrated himself.

"I am already in your life. You see this?" She raised her left hand, pointing at the ring. "You put this here and maybe if we weren't into each other's lives before, I'm sure as hell we were after you asked me to marry you. Where is this even coming from?" She asked, exasperated, dropping her hands to her sides.

"What if the winter Soldier takes control of me again? Huh?" He asked walking towards her. "What if I hurt you? You know, I wouldn't able to live with myself." He said through clenched jaw, looking down at Kristyn.

"You are okay, Buck." She replied, holding his shoulders softly. "You've been okay. You are James Buchanan Barnes and nothing else. You can never hurt me. You can talk to Ayo or Shuri, you trust them, right?" She slowly asked. Bucky whipped her arms away, walking back.

"That's not gonna make a difference." He said facing his back to her.

"What is it really about?" She asked looking down at her feet."Honestly Bucky, tell me what to do? Just tell me." Kristyn said looking down at him and Bucky sunk his head into his palms. "I don't know what else I can do. You know, since the day we got engaged, I've grown so fucking tired of people doubting us, that I chose to stay alone instead of being with anyone today after the evening." She said stepping slowly towards Bucky. "I am done with people telling me what to do and what not. I am done with people making choices regarding my life without even considering my opinions." She halted at a distance from Bucky.