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welcome. please note that most of these conversations do my belong to me. rightful credit to their originators.

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by entity-

Friend 1 - Hey, I accidentally broke your lamp.

Friend 2 - Why do you always break my stuff?

Friend 1 - I don't always break your stuff.

Friend 2 - Remember when you CRACKED THE TV SCREEN?

Friend 2 - Remember when you SHREDDED MY MATRESS?

Friend 2 - Remember when you PAID SOMEONE TO CUT MY BALLS OFF?

Friend 1 - I'll just buy a new lamp.