𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘, pacey witter

FIVE

That day at school I couldn't wait for my first class with Pacey. I was scared to death that Cliff would do something awful to him because of me. I liked Pacey, as much as I disliked him. It was a 50/50 shot with him it seemed.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked sitting beside him cautiously. He looked up with a blank expression and tapped his pencil against the desk.

"No, Kelly, I'm not mad at you." He said.

"Really? Because judging by the tone of your voice, you seem mad at me." I said back carefully pulling out my pencil. Pacey looked at me with devious eyes and shook his head.

"I'm not mad at you? Why would I be?" He asked.

"Because of the party, you know, the whole Cliff thing. I didn't mean to get you into trouble with him if I did." I apologized quite quickly.

"You didn't," he half smiled, "and hate to break it to you but you should be the one to worry. Cliff had a tendency to make up a few things." My head dropped when those words fell off his tongue.

"What?" I asked in fear.

"Kelly, there's a little rumor going around." He explained. Oh god, oh no. Why me? What did I do to anyone?

"About what?" I said trying not to just sob right then and there.

"Well... Cliff sort of said that you were a bit promiscuous back in New York." Pacey wouldn't just give me the straight answer. My lip quivered with the fear, the fear of not knowing. I had never experienced this before.

"What? Why? I didn't even... I wouldn't— oh god." I said burying my head in his hands. For some reason, I just wanted to cry. Some girls walked in and eyed me up and down, other guys laughed. I felt like an animal on display at a zoo for everyone to laugh at. I couldn't bare it.

"Hello, everyone! Can anyone solve the question on the board? It's one we've been studying all week." Mr. Ruck enthusiastically walked into the classroom. A few raised there hands but I stayed hidden in self pity.

"Ms. Lindley?" Why the actual fuck would he call on me? On today of all days.

I silently lifted myself from the chair and walked up to the board. I could feel everyone staring at me, and I could hear them whisper. I felt my cheeks get hot as I picked up the chalk and began writing out the equation.

"I heard that she had an abortion once..." someone whispered.

"Imagine being labeled the school whore on your first week..." another did. I couldn't handle it, I felt overwhelmed by this pressure of unknown things and I dropped the chalk right on the ground.

"Ms. Lindley... are you alright?" Mr. Ruck saw my distress.

"No," I whispered, "I'm sorry." With that I stupidly ran out of the classroom and into the hallway to collect my thoughts. Like a baby, I began silently crying. How could this have spread so quickly? I hit my head against the lockers and began sitting down against them sobbing.

"Kelly? God, what's the matter?" She lifted her head at the sound of her sister Jens voice. Kelly had her eyes stained with tears and black streaks fell below them.

"I'm a joke, Jen. Everyone hates me now." I said whimpering. Jen didn't understand what I meant apparently until she looked to her left.

"What the hell?" She said.

"What?" I fearfully asked following her eyesight to my locker. In big black letters written with Sharpie marker it said: "WHORE" I felt like my whole life was over.

"Kelly? I got Mr. Ruck to let me out, what's wrong? It's just a—" Pacey stopped when he saw what we were looking at with pure disgustingnesses in our eyes. I felt dead. I felt like a joke.

"Kelly, it's gonna be okay." Jen said with a quaver in her voice. I felt my sobs start back up and leave a nice ache in my throat. I was completely mortified. Without thinking I just ran off to the nearest door and pushed it open. Fuck school. Fuck life.