In Cold Blood [Ash Lynx] - Banana Fish

Twenty - Tell It To My Heart

"Yes, but that's not what I'm talking about," He takes in a deep breath, encouraging Tora to follow and take in the cold, snowy New York air. "True spirit, Mago, is about not hiding and putting on airs. Embrace the things you like, enjoy and the people you want to surround yourself with. It's about being yourself and being true to what you believe in. Being in control of your emotions and views and being honest with yourself —that's true strength. Understand?"

Tora inhales another deep breath, her shoulders relaxing as she nods to herself. "I understand, Sensei."

"I'm only a phone call away. Good luck, Mago."

The sound of the call ending beeps and she releases the phone from her ear, turning her phone off and placing it on the tarmac beside herself. She pulls the cigarette and lighter back out of her pocket, shielding the end, lighting it up and inhaling. Smoke fills her lungs and she exhales a shaky breath, repeating her inhale again, before flicking the spent ashes away and continuing for a few moments.

"Who was that?"

Exhaling, Tora glances over her shoulder at Ash standing on the rooftop, his hands stuffed in the pocket of his red zip-up hoodie.

"Home."

He scuffs his red converse against the snow-covered concrete, blond hair blowing in the wind. "Are we gonna talk about it?"

She shrugs, inhaling again. "About what?"

His lips press into a thin line. "What the hell happened back there?"

Once she doesn't respond and the wind picks up, he raises his voice and walks closer to her.

"Are you serious? What's gotten into you?"

Reaching the filter, Tora pushes the cigarette into the floor, standing up with her back still turned to him. "This is wrong. This is all wrong. Yut-Lung did nothing to betray us, but now they're onto us and—"

"And what?" He interjects. "So the syndicate boss is a puppet leader? You said that yourself to us the other week. This isn't news!"

She shakes her head. "But we have no idea who's controlling him, who gave him the Banana Fish. Ash, it's been 12 years since they died. 12 years I've been wondering. Over the last few weeks, I've gotten closer to discovering the truth, closer than I've ever been before. But we're still so clueless."

"So we keep going!" Ash continues. "You'd be crazy to give up when we've already made progress. Because that's what you're doing —giving up. You know that?"

She scoffs, hugging her arms tighter around her shivering body.

"What's wrong with you? Why give up now? You're crazy, Tora! What's changed—"

"I'm scared!"

Raising his eyebrows as she whips around to look at him, Ash purses his lips and shakes his head in response.

"I'm scared! How's that?" She clenches her fists, marching towards him. "You don't think I want to keep going? Of course I do! But I've been waiting 12 years to discover the truth about my parent's death and the people who did it, so excuse me if I'm a little apprehensive about that!"

He grits his teeth. "You're scared! You think I'm not scared?"

"We could have died last night! 12 years ago I could have died in that house, all because of Banana Fish!" She cries out to him.

Ash shakes his fists, returning the gesture of pointing his finger at her. "I've spent my whole life scared because of Banana Fish. So if you think I'm going to let either of us die because of that damn drug, then you're mistaken and you can leave right now. My brother died because of it, Shorter— Shorter died! My best friend! I—"

Aware of his voice cracking and catching in his throat, Ash stops himself, running his hands through his hair as he turns away from her.

Her eyes widen and she takes a tentative step forward. "Ash— I didn't—"

"I'm seeing this through until the end. If not for myself, then... For Griffin, for Shorter and for the truth." Ash sighs.

Tora huffs a laugh. "I completely agree. I just... I had a moment of doubt and worry, because— well, because of the syndicate."

"That's not going to disappear overnight." He glances at her over his shoulder. "But if you're going to find out the truth then you need to get over it."

She crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow. "Insensitive much?"

He rolls his eyes, the corner of his mouth tugging up into a smile.

"Whatever," Tora shrugs. "You're right... But don't let that go to your head."

"I'll try not to. So, what's the next move then?" His brows furrow as she purses her lips.

"Japan."

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"tell it to my heart

'cause I can't keep guessing if it's me you're missing?" - Hozier