If You Only Knew

Chapter 8

The rest of the week goes by quickly, Louis and i are sitting on his bed on Friday after school. "Lou... do we really have to go to this party tonight? You said you don't like El anymore?" I whine. "I don't Haz but i think the party will be a lot of fun please come... for meeee" Louis pouts dragging out the "e". I can't say no to him even if i wanted to. "Fine" i huff. "I will go for you but! You have to promise you won't leave my side the entire time please!" "Thank you Hazza!" Louis pulls me into a hug. "I promise i won't leave your side never ever ever!" With that we start getting ready for the party and decide to pick out our costumes. I decide to wear my Scooby Doo costume its warm and comfy. Louis decides to wear a Harry Potter costume, which he looks great in.

We head downstairs to leave as we were walking out the door Jay stops us. "Awe you boys look adorable" She says. "Muuummm your embarrassing me. But i do agree Curly here looks adorable n his Scooby Doo costume." "Lou! Stooop" i blush. "Let me get a picture then you boys can go!" Jay says pushing Lou and I to stand close together and smile for the camera. I make a mental reminder to get Jay to send me that picture. Once we say our goodbyes to Jay we head out. We decide to walk as Eleanor does not live far from Louis and we both want to drink tonight.

By the time we arrive the party is in full swing, music is blasting and people are dancing everywhere. I immediately tense up and grab on to the hem of Louis shirt. "Come on Haz lets go get a drink" Louis says in my ear. "O-okay" I follow close behind Louis scared i will get lost in the crowed of people. We finally make it to the kitchen and Louis grabs us a couple drinks and hops up on the counter. We have a few drinks in the kitchen chatting with the few people that were in there i some how migrated to leaning against the counter between Louis legs and Louis arm around my shoulder.  Suddenly Niall comes running into the kitchen to Louis and myself. "Hey!" He gives us a weird look i realize it's because of the way Louis and i are standing, i move away from Louis who doesn't seem to care. "We are going to be playing Truths! everyone is too drunk to do any dares and Eleanor doesn't want her shit getting broken, but this way we can get some juicy truths out!" Niall explains. Louis looks at me, "What do you say Hazzabear you in? "ummm" I look at Louis nervously as i remember last weekend when i played truths with the boys. Louis seems to notice my uneasiness and jumps off the counter and turns me to face him. "Haz it will be fine I promise, if there is a question you don't want to answer and it gets uncomfortable you don't have to answer. I promise." He reassures me. "O-okay lets play" i smile at Louis.

We head to he living room where everyone is already joining and we sit in the circle. I make sure to sit next to Louis and Liam, Niall is on the other side of Louis and Zayn beside Niall and Gigi. Maya is on the other side of  Liam and Eleanor is on the other side of the circle with a bunch of other people in between us. We made it through a few rounds  and many more drinks  a question was asked to Louis. "So Louis do you like anyone at the moment?" Jason a kid from school asked. "Yeah, yeah i do" Louis smirks. I am shocked by this knowledge Louis told me he didn't like Eleanor anymore i don't understand why he was lying to me about it, I decided to ask ask him just that. "Y-you said you didn't like her, why did you lie about that Lou" I ask mental hitting myself for stuttering. Louis seems shocked by the question and turns to me "it's not her i like Haz, i didn't lie." He defends. "W-who is she?" I question. "I will tell you about them later..." with that he turns to whisper something to Niall. I am hurt that he didn't tell me and not he is just blowing the question off. Niall looks at Louis confused but then just shrugs. "Okay i guess it's my turn. Harry... who is the person you like?" "Seriously Niall... you are going to ask that again after the last time we played are you kidding me?" I turn to look at Louis and debate if i should just tell him but i can't suddenly tears are welling up in my eyes and i get up and leave the room and head to the kitchen. "what does he mean the last time? What Happened?" I hear Louis ask. "Oh we played last Friday when you were on your date Zayn asked him who is crush was and he didn't want to play anymore he got really upset" Niall explains. "Ni if i knew i wouln't have asked you to ask that. Shit i need to go find him. I Promised him he wouldn't have to answer any questions that make him uncomfortable." I hear Louis getting up. I suddenly can't breathe and i run out the front door.

I collapse on the front porch crying. "I am so stupid... Just tell him then he will turn you down and you can move on. What if he hates me what if never wants to see me again. He's my best friend he doesn't like me that way..." I didn't realize i was having this internal battle with myself out loud until i heard. "But what if he does..." I whip my head around standing up to see Louis standing there "w-what?" Louis steps closer to me. "What if he feels the same but he has just been to stupid to realize." Louis grabs my hand. "Lou... please don't do this don't lie to me my heart couldn't take it." I plead. "Oh my sweet Hazza, i mean every word of it. I am stupid and i am sorry I didn't realize i sooner. I am sorry I didn't realize you felt this way about me i am sorry I didn't realize how much i like you and i am sorry that i hurt you."

Before I realize what i am doing i am pushing Louis up against the wall of the house and kissing him. Once i come back to my senses i pull away. "Oh my god, Lou i am so sorry i shouldn't have done that!" "Baby don't you ever apologize for kissing me" Louis pulls me back into him and kisses me this time there is urgency behind the kiss. My tongue slips past his lips into his mouth, Louis sucks on my bottom lip causing me to let out a quiet moan. "Lou... what does this mean?" I ask pulling away from the kiss. "I don't know Haz. I think we both have had too many drinks to have this conversation right now. Let's just go home and cuddle we can talk tomorrow" I start to panic at Louis words, he is right, we have both had a lot to drink what if he wakes up tomorrow and realized he regrets it, i can't go back i can't. I am don't think I could survive that. "Okay Lou" i look at him trying to hide my panic so i look at my feet. "Hey Hey Hazza look at me, Babe i promise you that i am not going to change my mind in the morning okay?" Louis tries to ease my nerves, i guess i didn't do a good job at hiding my worry. "H-how did you know?" I ask "Because i know you Haz, i know everything thing you are thinking. Now come on lets go home" Louis entwines my hand in his. "Okay yeah, home that sounds great"

We walk home together hands entwined together, the walk is peaceful, the fall night air is almost sobering. It was cold but not freezing. I am glad i was wearing my costume, its warm, Louis hand is also helping me keep warm. We don't talk much the walk home but it's comfortable. I get lost in the street lights and the cool wind before i know it we are home.  We enter the house quietly as his family is asleep and head up the stairs to his room. I stop in the middle of his room unsure of what i should be doing. Louis climbs into his bed after stripping down to his boxers and looks at me. "Haz get into bed silly, i need my Hazzie cuddles" Louis laughs making grabby hands at me. Trying to hid my blushing i giggle stripping down to my boxers and climb into bed with Louis wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggling into his chest. "Night Lou" i whisper. "Night Haz" Louis kisses my forehead softly.