The Gentle Cloud's and Purple Lotus's Second Chance

Starting Point Part 2

Jiang Cheng POV

“You really wanna know why,Wuxian?” I snarled.

“Fine! I’ll tell you! The day when I got captured, it wasn’t because I was trying to break in there and get my parents body! I was grieving and angry but I wasn’t an idiot! I know they’re gone and there’s nothing I could do about it,” I started.

“So,why-?” he tried to ask in confusion but I interrupted him.

“Because they were closing in on you! I was on my way back to our hiding spot after cooling off when I saw them closing in on you! So, I did what I had to do and distracted them,” I said.

“A-cheng,why?” he asked with teary eyes.

“Why?Why? You were my brother! But more than that, you were A-die’s favored people,everyone fucking knows that if you were his biological son, you would be the heir and not me,” I answered, tears streaming down my face without me knowing.

“A-cheng,that’s not-” he tried to say.

“Shut up!We’re fucking adults now Wuxian! We don’t need to sugar coat things! You were the embodiment of our sect’s moto, even I knew that. Why the hell do you think I was so angry when you started to just drink all the time and not help in managing the sect? It wasn’t because I think you were lazy and that you were obligated to help me as the son of my father’s servant like everyone thinks.”

“ It’s because you understood our sect’s moto more than I did and that the only chance Lotus Pier  could be what it once was, was if you trained the disciples alongside me and were involved in the decisions for the sect! But you fucking weren’t! That’s why I think it’s fine if they captured me and even more fucking fine if they took my core away because at the end of the day, I may have held the title but you held the fucking spirit!” I ranted.

“You want to know why, I was angrier after you told me you gave your core to me?” I sarcastically asked him.

“Because it was like knowing my sacrifice going down the fucking drane. The torture I got there,this!” I showed them the scars I  got from the whipping at Lotus Pier.

“Was all for fucking nothing! Because you gave your fucking core to me which was the catalyst of you not being part of Lotus Pier anymore and that’s just fucking shit!” I cried out.

“A-cheng-” Wuxian tried to say.

“I’m not finished!” I said and then I turned my attention to Hanguang-jun.

“You may think that I’m despicable, for what I did.Disowning my own sworn brother, sacrificing people that helped me,hunting him down,” I listed out as I looked at hin straight in the eyes.

“HAH!What the fuck do you expect me to fucking do,huh?” I sarcastically asked him.

“I didn’t have elders to help me,like you did! I didn’t have family to support me,like you did! Not really! I had A-jie for a brief second but she didn’t know how to lead, she couldn’t give me  advice and there’s no fucking elder to give advice because they’ve all been fucking killed!”  I said.

“And the only person that could help me,that could give advice decided to turn his back on cultivation and helping me all together  and decided to drink his life away.Ow,right! And turned to fucking demonic cultivation for fucks sake! Which put my sect at risk because we were just starting to rebuild, I was fucking alone in every fucking decisions I made and my second in command was not only being fucking useless and a demonic cultivator but also disobeyed me in every fucking turn!” I continued.

“We needed good relations and he was ruffling feathers left and right! What the hell am I supposed to do? Play the fucking hero like him and try to save the Wens even if it meant destroying my already fragile sect?” I rhetorically asked.

“I was the sect leader! I don’t get to play the hero! I was angry at Wuxian at first but I was proud of him too, the  fact that he would sacrifice everything to save innocent lives made me proud to be his brother! But that’s all I can fucking do, be proud! Because I am the sect leader and my priority is my sect and it’s people! And yes it demands me to make fucking hard decision at 17! Alone!” I emphasized at the end.

“And then, I saw this demonic cultivation turn my brother into something I didn’t recognize. He was antagonistic,cold,angry,distant even. I saw it when I first found him with you, I felt it when I met up with him in secret with A-jie before the wedding,and I felt it when he held A-jie’s lifeless body in his arms." I laughed sarcastically and cringed internally becausw even I couls hear the pain in my voice.

"For fucks sake, I though he killed Jin Zixuan,everyone did! And I was angry at him for that and then he took my sister! I know that it was that fucking Jin Guangyao who did all that but at the time all evidence points to him! And he didn’t help his case either by antagonizing other sects and pulling that stunt at the Wen’s execution! So, yes, I chased after demonic cultivators and I chased after him after I found out he was alive,because at the time I thought my brother was gone and was replaced by a demonic cultivator who had no honor to even willingly kill his family!” I yelled out, looking straight a startled Hanguang-jun which I would find funny to see the great Hanguang-jun make that expression, if it weren't for the fact I was angry and frustrated right now.

Who the fuck were they to judge? Not only him but everyone judged me like they fucking knew me!

“So unless you’ve experienced what I’ve experienced  or atleast try to put yourself in my shoes, you have no fucking right to judge me!” I snarled, tears streaming down my face now.

“Uncle!” called someone worriedly from behind me.

“A-ling! Aren’t you supposed to be in Wuhai province for the extermination?” I asked him, quickly whipping my tears away.

“We finished early,sect leader Jiang!” answered Lan Sizhui with a salute.

I just nodded and turned towards Zewujun and the sickeningly sweet couple.

“If there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave,” I saluted to them.

“A-ling, I’ll see you tomorrow!” I said to him and then I quickly mounted Sandu and made my way to Lotus Pier without looking back.

On the way I took a deep breath and sighed.

Well, at least that 18 year old burden is finally lifted off my shoulders and maybe I could finally move on.