It Should Have Been Like This

Book Twenty: worthiness

   "How long ago?" I sighed.

   "Five, I'm sorry." I waved dismissively. I didn't even have the mental strength to yell.

   "Wait, no screaming and defending of Ferris' fidelity?" Ginger asked with a cock of her dark ginger brow and a awestruck glint in her reddish brown eyes. I shrugged. Her salmon pink lips curved into a sneer. "Seriously, no arguments?"

   "What do you want me to say? It's been five years and if I know Annalise well, she probably blunted it out to him within a week after it happened. If they are still together now, why should I care?" I quirked a brow at Anna, throwing the question at her.

   "Ferris and I had a pretty bad fall out then, and if it'll make you feel any better, we both cheated on each other during the separation," she sucked her bottom lip sheepishly, "though his was a drunken mistake and I blame the bitch that took advantage of him. The point is that Apollo seduced me, case close." I turned my interrogative gaze to Ginger. She let out a small whimper before sinking into the sofa she sat on.

   "In my defense, I slept with him before I married Elias so that was a long time ago."

   "I'm an opera singer, I meet and fuck a lot of people, sue me," Sussy shrugged, "but that was before I married Cameron," she rolled a lock of her ginger brown hair around her index finger and puckered up like a high school girl trying to flirt. "He was worth every minute of it."

   "I only got a boyfriend last week so whatever," Tyra said with a shrug. Now I suddenly don't like Apollo anymore. To hell with his good looks and killer abs, Nic is better. It reminded me of the time I first met him. I was awed by the power he had in women, but wasn't interested in him. I saw him for what he was: a womanizer and a girlfriend stealer. He had records for breaking relationships, and he didn't bat an eyelid over it. I never truly appreciated men like that and so I thought Rominic was perfect.

   He had as much money as Apollo, more powers and connections and yet he was never seen with any woman other than Peyton, his "best friend" and someone he took as a "younger sister". I thought he was genuinely a good guy like he said... Okay, he is. Rominic wasn't the type to move about with different women because he wasn't raised to, but he did cheat on me with Peyton. But if you look at it from the right angle, he cheated on Peyton with me. I was always the other woman, never the first but the difference is that the first woman knew about me, but I didn't.

   "Lavender!" I blinked out of my thought and looked at Tyra who was looking at me with concern. "Are you okay? You just angrily broke your phone."

   "I did?" I asked puzzledly, turning my phone to look at it. There was three huge cracks along the screen, "oh, guess I squeezed too hard. I'm fine, just remembered something."

   "Peyton?" Anna asked with a knowing look. I nodded with a sad sigh. I lowered my head, pressing my elbows to my knees and parting my legs. My eyes stayed strained on my bare feet as I fought back the tears. This was the reason I needed to do what I have to do. If I didn't, I would never truly let go of the past.

   What Rominic did wasn't something I could forget in a hurry. I could never stop picturing all the times he would be in bed with Peyton, talking about me, about my stupidity and telling her the exact words he told me. They claimed he loved me, and even if I was seeing it, I still couldn't believe it. Deep down I knew they were right, but with the memories of them together plaguing my mind, it was impossible to believe. Tossing away all the doubts wasn't easy and I knew being with someone else and watching him pine would do me good. And somewhere deep down, I knew I was also trying to prove I was better than Peyton, that I could attract men better than her.