How to Date a Nerd

Chapter 33 - The Chapter Which Isn't Really the Ending

As she pushed the waist-high wooden gate to the garden, rows and rows of blue bouquets welcomed us. The bouquets were really clusters of small blue flowers that bloomed around the stalk so that they looked like blue spheres. Like snow balls. Cerulean, indigo, sapphire; all sorts of blue became the motif of the whole garden.

“Hydrangeas,” she walked past me, sitting on her heels to cup one of the shrub’s bouquets in her hands. “Hydrangea macrophylla. They bloom all year round, except in winter. And they’re… pretty.” Her gaze lingered up at me, then back to the flowers.

“Yeah…” I sniffed, raising a brow. “But I thought you like lilies better.”

“I don’t know,” she whispered thoughtfully, fondness evident in her eyes as she gazed at the flowers. “Somehow… they remind me of the color of y-your eyes. Whenever I look at them, I get the feeling that I’ll be okay.”

I couldn’t say anything. My voice was missing. So I just stood there and watched her smile to herself, wishing I could see that scene every day of my life. When I finally cleared my throat, I said, “Why say that now? Why show me this? You know I’m leaving.”

She took her time standing up, her hands pushing on her thighs as she did. When she looked me in the eyes, she seemed to be miles away, lost in thought. She opened her mouth, then shook her head and forced a smile on her pale face.

“I just… want you to know,” she began, her voice shaking a bit. “T-that no matter what happens, I would… I w-would never forget you.”

Her eyes were misty. But there was no sadness in there. Only acceptance.

Something in me wrenched to the point of breaking. This was goodbye. And all I could do was place the present on her hands, put a smile on my face and say, “Open it.”

Intently, she untied the ribbon from the box. While she was busy, I took the chance to breathe and compose myself. When she was done taking out the SLR from the box, she aimed the lens on me and pretended to take a picture.

“Not like that,” I told her, stepping behind her to lightly hold her hands. I set up the camera and focused on a lone iris flower nearby. She almost shied away when I touched her but she’d let me do it anyway. “Use your left hand to balance the camera and the right to adjust the lens.”

Once I’d let her go to take the picture on her own, it was like she’d just turn to stone. She held her breath, careful to not move a muscle while pushing the capture button. A picture or two later, she was already out of breath.

“You don’t have to hold your breath, you know,” I scoffed at her lightly.

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes. “But I don’t want a blurred picture.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. She just looked confused, her lips pouting the smallest bit as she fumbled with the camera settings. She kept taking pictures of the flowers around us. But most of it were pictures of my midnight blue Vans sneakers since she couldn’t seem to aim well. It was fun watching her. I even got the chance to poke fun at her just to lighten up the mood.

I was about to tease her about how she was such a genius photographer when I heard the sound of Dad’s truck as it parked in front of Sarah’s house. As if that wasn’t loud enough, Dad revved the engines, just to make sure.

Nice timing, Dad.

Sarah lowered the camera and looked searchingly at me. In exchange, I sported my best smile. That’s right. Everything’s gonna be okay, Leon. You can do this. Just smile. And do your magic.

“I guess that’s me,” I said to her, backing away. “I’ll—“

“I’ll write to you,” she said before I could finish what I was about to say. “You don’t need to write back. But it’ll make me happy if you do. I’ll write to you every week. So don’t call or visit or anything until I say so, okay? Just… until I’m ready… Promise me.”