Hunted

53

He was no longer in my bed when I walked in. I didn't care. I didn't even bother to question anything he did. What was there to question? He would kiss me like I was the thing holding the world together, then leave me with my skin terrorized, bruised and swollen. Funny how someone's touch could be so sweet, yet horrendously bitter.

I opened the wide glass door leading me to the backyard. A wide field of grass with a line of pine cones along the left side of the fence stood before me swaying on the calm breeze. I slowly stepped out, hugging myself and brushing my hands down my arms. Just an oversized black turtleneck jumper wasn't enough to keep me warm outside the house.

I walked closer to the edge of the grass field, listening as the waves of the dark blue sea crushed against the stone wall I was standing on. Even my fear of heights wasn't there with me when I looked down at the raging water. It was hypnotizing me in a way I couldn't pull my gaze away from it. It seemed to know the only key to my freedom of him.

My heart became louder in my ears, each beat coming faster than the previous. Every step I made forward smaller than the other until my toes were halfway out of the stone wall.

Finally I moved my gaze up from the sea, the brightness of the white clouded sky blinding my eyes as I swallowed hard. I could have ended it... But my chest was heaving up and down in an attempt to stabilise my uncontrollable breaths, creating short foggy clouds after every exhale. So, consumed by panic, I stepped backwards, falling back down on the cold wet grass.

I couldn't even kill myself. I always pictured myself dying in every possible way, now I couldn't actually do that. Imagining the freezing water filling up my lungs as I painfully attempt to swim back up to the surface for some air. Imagining choking on it and every time I take a breath after I cough I inhale water. Imagining my chest aching for oxygen until I'm no longer conscious.

I never thought I was that much of a coward. Was that all it took for me to bitch out? Even though my life from here on would be worse than death itself. Even though I was already ruined inside out. All of that because of no one but myself.

Being so proud and sure of myself, thinking I could handle everything alone. It was always the cause for my downfall, yet I never learned from it. Getting angry when being offered help. Never letting anyone in, not even Jina. She was the only person who had been there for me always and I was pushing her away, always. I was so laughable, pitiful, there was nothing in me that didn't deserve what I got.

I laughed, with the stinging tears in my tired eyes, sitting on the freezing ground as the humidity was slowly watering my clothes and numbing my bones.

"I heard a lot of things about you, but no one mentioned that Minhyuk's precious kitten was crazy."

As soon as it started, my laughter died out. I looked at my side at the tall guy walking my way with his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. He didn't look suicidal by the lively smile he had on his face, but just like me he obviously didn't bother to take a jacket with him, wearing just a cinnamon brown sweater on a typical December day. The short strands of his pitch black hair were being messed up by the wind as he walked up to me and stretched out his hand for me to take it.

I stared at it for a second, thought about it. Unlike the few I've already met, he seemed nice. I looked up at his face, the doubt clearly showing on my face until he raised his eyebrows in a 'you gonna take my  hand or what?' manner. "Fine..." I mumbled, more to myself than to him as I grabbed his warm hand. "Don't ever call me that again!" I warned.

"Call you what? Minhyuk's, kitten or crazy?" He raised an eyebrow staring down at me, his small lips forming a teasing smirk and I just rolled my eyes at him. I wasn't about to answer that, it was obvious: all of those. "Is Soji fine? Or... wait Soji... right?" He asked, getting confused for a second with my name.