Im Not Okay (I Promise)

Chapter 3

Gerard and I sat on the couch together, Jaden and Mikey sat on the floor. I layed down on the couch to see Gerard cuddle up next to me it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Halfway through the movie Gerard made this cute little yawn noise I giggled and he looked up at me and blushed.

We ate popcorn and candy, well I didn't Gerard would occasionally look back at me to make sure I was okay. I've never seen Gerard care about me as much as he did. When the movie was over everyone was tired. Jaden was sleeping on Mikey's shoulder and Mikey had his arm around her the hole time.

I think he likes her! It was the cutest thing I've ever seen, besides Gerard. "Hey let's go to bed i want to talk to you..." Gerard said nervously "okay" I said following him into his bedroom.

I sat down on his bed and he sat across from me "so (F/N)... I know your not okay please tell me what's wrong I will help you" he looked at me with worry and sympathy in his eyes.

"Nothing's wrong im fine don't worry..." I said "drop the shit I know somethings wrong with you... your my best friend I've known you my entire life ever since I moved here" he said I looked down shamefully. "Well it's nothing... you shouldn't worry it's stupid..." I looked up to see that Gerard was looking at me like I was stupid.

"You don't get depressed over stupid things! I know you! now, really tell me what's wrong" he demanded "well...my parents are in jail that's why we never go over my house...I get bullied at school if you haven't noticed by now...and Gerard...I-i fucking love you...I hate to see you with some slut it breaks my heart...I can't stand to see you with someone else...." I said looking down at my scared arms covered by my jacket.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He responded "because you looked happy I didn't want to ruin something for you, you actually like being popular and being with them...." He grabbed my arm and i flinched in pain.

He looked at me confused then looked at me like wtf! "Show me your arms..." He said quietly "but..." I said before he cut me off "(F/N) show me your God damn arms" he said getting a little more annoyed.

I slowly got up and ran into his bathroom he tried to follow after me but I slammed the door and locked it shut. I cut up and down my arms and legs and wiped it up before applying makeup over the scars he knocked on the door.

"Please come out...I worry about you..." He said "okay..." I faintly said checking for any blood spots. I slowly opened the door, he quickly hugged me and scanned me up and down worried.

He lead me to the bed and he climbed ontop of me I flinched when he hit my legs. "You did it again..." He said applying pressure to my arms I flinched as the pain hurt I squealed. "He let go of my arms and got off of me so we were facing each other.

He grabbed my arm lifted up my sleeve and saw the blood and makeup drip down my arm, his face dropped and tears started to form in his eyes. "Why..." He said he quietly sobbed "im sorry im so so so sorry im sorry" he kept repeating over and over again.

"I didn't want to hurt you i-i...love you" he said letting more tears drip down his face before he looked up at me and kissed me pationately on the lips I kissed back, and strung my bloody arms over his neck. We broke apart and rested our foreheads together.

"Was that your first kiss?" He said out of breathe still letting the tears fall slower I nodded and blushed "you're a really good kisser" he said pulling me into another one it was like magic. "Now come on we have to get you cleaned up" he said being gently with me as if I was a porcelain doll. I followed him into the bathroom, he sat me on the toilet and kneeled in front of me.

He got a wash cloth and dabbed my bloody wrists. I winced as the pain shot through my body. He finished wiping up the mess of blood and makeup. He hugged me gently and kissed my cheek "I worry about you so much I never want anything to happen to you..." He said, the whole time I was thinking about how gentle and sweet he was.

He took my hand and lead me to his bed he picked me up and laid me down climbing over top of me applying a little pressure to my wrists and legs. He kissed me passionately then let go for air "are you a virgin?" He asked "w-well y-yeah...you should know this I haven't had a boyfriend..." I said shyly he smirked.

I tensed up as he rub his hand up and down my side. He kissed my neck I moaned lightly "G-Gerard...please stop..." I said he looked at me worried "why babe?" I melted at him calling me babe "uhh...it will hurt my scars and im really nervous" I said he smiled cutely I blushed even more, he giggled a bit."alright babe..." He said stroking his hand down the side of my face.

He laid on the other side of me. I cuddled close to him, he held onto me gently for the rest of the night...

To be continued...

Hey guys sorry it took so long I've had softball I'll have a lot of time in the summer though till then I will be updating late sorry I love you guys bye! Hope you liked it!